80's Worship

You know that one time that God is awesome?  By awesome I mean it in the same way that Rich Mullins explained it in his hit song in 1988, "When He rolls up His sleeves He ain't just putting on the ritz, our God is an awesome God," I think it is more meaningful that way.

Regardless, His rolled up sleeves have been evident to me lately in the answering of prayer.  I won't go deep into specifics, but I have a friend who has been in the process of getting a job for several months now.  After multiple interviews and red tape he got a call saying he got the job. 

Pretty awesome, and He wasn't just putting on the ritz.

I know this isn't a life or death situation, and I know a lot of people have to worry about worse things than landing a good job, but I am also keenly aware that we matter to God.  Our hopes and fear, desires and purpose were uniquely crafted for each and every one of us by Him, so why is it that He wouldn't care? 

There are indeed times when I know God is not going to say yes to my prayer and other times when he will just ignore them all together.

Prayer closes doors as well.  Sometimes we get so excited about an opportunity only to have a door slammed on our face, thats okay.  Hard, but okay.

Regardless He has thunder in His footsteps and lightning in His fists, our God is an awesome God.

Confrontation Sucks

I hate confrontation.  Not like the kind where Maximus kills Caesar in the final scene of Gladiator, that type of conflict is awesome.  I don't like real conflict.  Real conflict like you see a brother or sister in Christ that needs to be loved back to where God wants them and the only way to do that is by speaking truth into their life, real, nasty, hard to swallow, truth.  These conversations are terrible, no one looks forward to them, but in order to continue growing in faith you have to have hard conversations, you have to do hard things.

Growing up I didn't like to stir the pot, I was often referred to as the voice of reason because I never wanted to rock the boat I never wanted to do anything that was going to get me in trouble, no matter how big the explosion was or how many pieces it blew up into.  I like being safe, I liked being comfortable.  Throughout these least two years I have come to terms with the idea that if you want to be a good man, husband, disciple, and friend you have to have hard conversations.  You have to have conversations that make you uneasy because these conversations are what help people grow, they help us grow.

I am glad I have a group of friends that is more than willing to nail me to the wall if I am acting in a way that is unrepresentative of the body of Christ.  I am glad I have friends who will look me in the eye and tell me I am wrong.  I am glad I have friends that will walk next to me and at times carry me towards righteousness when I have no more strength and a loss of will.

Hard conversations suck.

Confrontation sucks.

You know why people hate lifting weights?  (Other than the fact that it is boring and repetitive (just so I don't offend any really strong people, I lift weights and is may main source of exercise, so back up or I will flex my tricep in your general direction)).  People hate lifting weights because you are literally tearing your muscles in order for them to repair themselves and make the bigger and stronger.  Last time I checked tearing my muscle wasn't on my short list of things that reminded my of puppies and clouds made of cotton candy.

It's the same thing with confrontation.  It sucks, it is literally you telling someone you deeply care about about blind spots in their life. I can't guarantee it will make them a better person, but I can guarantee you will become a stronger version of yourself if you have hard conversations.

Foods I Love(d)

Yesterday our Junior Pastor Andrew came in to the office and offered me a free burger from Carls Jr.  It wasn't just any burger though, it was my life blood throughout high school, my mandatory stop when I was in Merced, this burger is the very reason I had to watch what I was eating starting my Senior Year of High School, it was the Western Bacon Cheese Burger.  It is terrible, and full of stuff that shouldn't be put into your body in the form that it comes, and I have done a great job at swearing off the WBCB (my pet name for it) but today I couldn't handle it anymore, I felt like Squints in the movie 'Sandlot' when his hormones finally get the best of him and he tricks Wendy Peffercorn into kissing him, except this was a burger not a lifeguard, and I ate it, I didn't make out with it.

So what's the big deal? Its just a burger.  Until today I had done really well on my diet and exercising, a slipped up a few times but today after indulging in the barbecued goodness that is processed beef topped with fried everything and bacon, I felt like everything I had done until this point had been erased.  I know it hasn't, but it inspired me to make a list of things I won't be eating ever again, or as long as I don't eat them, whichever comes first:

1. Reese's Twister from Foster's Freeze:  It is so good, the perfect blend of peanut butter, chocolate, and vanilla ice cream sliding over your taste buds sends you into a sense of euphoria.  Maybe it's a food coma I am thinking of cause this little baby, the small, allots for half of your daily caloric intake, the small!  This is tough for me as I work literally 100 yards from Foster's, and I am pretty sure the don't have fro-yo and celery sticks as an alternative.

2.  Sal's Salsa- Technically this is a lie, I will eat Sal's salsa again, just not while I am in the restaurant, they trick you by putting the salsa next to the chips, before you know it you are on your fifth basket of corn tortilla chips and the waiter hasn't even taken your order yet.  Salsa = Good, as long as it is on toast with eggs whites, but they discontinued that at Sal's due to a low demand, something about not having enough lard in the ingredients.

3.  Soda- I love soda, it tastes good, it's refreshing, they have cool logos on their cans, but a smart man once said, "Don't drink soda." I am no idiot, I listen to smart people.

4.  Cheese- Growing up my teacher's always told me about cheese being in the dairy category of the food pyramid.  If it made the pyramid, you were to eat it.  I grew up eating cheese faster than cows could produce it, or the Hilmar cheese factory, one of the two.  It was the perfect snack for a lazy teen, easy to prepare, if there was only a bit left you didn't even have to slice it, you just got a block of cheese to eat while watching the Simpsons at 5:00 and 6:00 every night on Fox. Somewhere along the line someone informed my that cheese is not something that should be consumed in large quantities, unfortunately for me it is the only way I consume cheese so I must banish it, forever.

5.  Jelly Donuts-  You would think one would satisfy your desire to have sweets in the morning but you'd be wrong, I am pretty confident these are 95% air, therefore forcing you to eat at least 7 to be completely full (someone check my math, I switched to a Communications Major for a reason).

Thank you for letting me tell you what I won't be eating for until forever, it really helped me realize how much I miss the incredible taste of processed fat.  What is your go to food when you want your caloric fill in 15 minutes?  These have all at one point or another been mine, thank God it wasn't all in the same meal, I probably would have exploded from joy or sugar poisoning, is that a thing?

The Couch

When we got a new couch two years ago we paid an extra fifty bucks to get it insured.  Not insured like the Lord of the Dance's legs, but insured like if my youngest son vomits all over it and me at the same time people would come to our house and clean it, for free (or for fifty bucks, I'm not really sure how it works).  I'm not sure how it works because we have never used it.  The thought of calling some dude to drive 30 minutes to my house to shampoo my couch and clean off boogers doesn't appeal to me.  By the time I clean up my entire house so it's presentable for the tatted up college-aged shampoo guy I could have scratched to snot off the sofa myself, plus I wouldn't have to clean my house.

You are asking yourself two things right now:
1. Why would you clean your house for a guy to come clean your house?
     Good question, ask my mom the same thing about our house cleaner who came every Wednesday when I was 10.

2.  Why did you pay fifty bucks and not take advantage of what you payed for?
      Again, good question, but this time don't ask my mom, she will be embarrassed that I wasted my money, also, don't judge me.

In a fairytale the 50 dollars for a cleaning any time you want sounds great, but in reality, with two boys, spilled milk, snot, blood (at times), and poop, lots of poop, things get dirty everyday, new spots get a home everyday.  And everyday, or every other, they get cleaned up.

Right now we are renting a home in Kingsburg, CA, we like it, but I never noticed how much damage two kids and two active dogs could do.  I hope my landlord isn't reading this, but the week we moved in, the old cat door to the garage was snapped in half, not by my dogs, by Micah.  Who doesn't want to play with broken plastic and at the same time make a hole into the garage?

On the Fourth of July our dogs flipped out and tore off two screen doors, one of which I am pretty sure survived the great depression without being turned into firewood, but couldn't stand up to our loveably hyper animals.

Our couches double as jungle gyms, our beds as trampolines, and our lawn as bathrooms (for the dogs, mostly).

Rarely is there a day when there is more sitting on our couch than there is jumping.  And for us, that is okay for now.  When Cooper and Micah start to weigh in at 50-60 lbs, our couch won't be able to handle the stress of body slams and tackling drills anymore.

Our house doubles as a jungle gym, what does yours double as?  Office? Gym? Media Center? Church? After school hangout?

Boxes

When I was about 12 or 13 I remember watching TV with my Dad and he turned on a show that featured some dude pulling a string out of his stomach and twenty minutes later he was gravitating in the middle of the street and all the boys on the stoop were blown away.  It was David Blaine before he started doing things like trying to set world records for publicity.  At one point I remember one of my Junior High Friends asking me is I thought Blaine was the Anti-Christ, I was concerned at the time, then I realized the Anti-Christ would probably have better things to do than impress girl scouts with his ability to find their card.

One of the dumbest things Blaine every did was try to live in a box suspended over England's River Thames for 44 days surviving on merely 4.5 liters of water per day.  Incredible? Yes.  Stupid? Yes.

Since Sarah and I switched to a single income we sold my truck since we weren't going to be able to afford to have two cars.  It was an easy decision for us, and truthfully it hasn't been too difficult, we just have to plan our day better.

But because we have one car, Sarah takes the car to work during the week which leaves me and the boys at home.  At times it makes me feel like I am suspended in a box over England.  The furthest I can go is immediately related to the maximum distance the boys can travel without melting down or about 300 feet.

Obviously I love our house and where we live but not having the ability to do something as simple as run errands wears on the psychy.  So here we sit on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays playing in the back yard, cooking food all day, coloring at the table, and trying to get my oldest son to stay in bed during nap time.

Is it the same as living in a box?  No, it is smarter.  But there are times it absolutely feels isolating, especially when our roles feel like they have been flip flopped. Sarah was made to be a mom, to love and nurture and care for those that used to live inside of her.  I feel like I was meant to make money for our family and support us in that capacity.

Needless to say we are still trying to figure out how this year is going to work.  We will do it to the best of our capacity and eventually I am sure we will get back to where we are most comfortable but until then it is walks to the corner and back for the boys and me.

Is there anything about your daily life that makes you feel like you are an illusionist trying to stay in the spotlight a bit longer by being locked in a box?

Focus II

I have been trying to lose weight recently, I am not doing P90X, or drinking green tea, mostly because I can't afford either, I am merely eating better and exercising.  About a week into this whole weight loss thing I went on a run and I got a sharp pain on the inside of my left leg, slightly above my ankle.  I ignored it and kept running, I figured it would go away like spider bites and feathered hair.  The next day I went out to run again and the same thing happened except the pain was more severe and started to hurt with each step I took.

So I went to my doctor, Doctor Internet, and she told me (Yes, the internet is a girl) I had a stress fracture in my leg, usually brought on by excessive running after long periods of fat.  I didn't want to give up on my diet but running is the way I have always slimmed down when I wasn't feeling comfortable and this stress fracture was knocking me out of running for 6-8 weeks.

I had to figure something out, because with the holiday season coming up I needed to lose weight so I could put it back on and continue the vicious cycle.  I decided I had to eat waaaaay better, that cheese was  not a food group, and that the weight set in my garage was going to be put to good use.  So I'm three weeks in and have been pretty successful thus far, but I had to focus on my goal in order to achieve success.

The idea of focus has been plaguing me (I am always scared I am going to misspell plaguing and make it plaquing and then the whole world will think I have bad teeth). Focus is a funny thing because you don't realize you are out of whack until you are squinting to see the score of the game, or asking your wife to read the back of the cereal box to you.

Focus, like a lot of things is something you don't miss until it is gone.  It begs the question, "how, then, do I get focused?"  For me, I am a "type A" personality when it comes to my expectations of others and a "type B" when it comes to others expectations of me, that may just mean I am a jerk, but I do indeed expect a lot out of myself.

I can't accomplish much, however, unless I feel like my private life is in order, this can be anything from, I forgot to do the dishes that I told Sarah I would take care of to lingering sin issues in my life.  Unless I clear up the junk that is hindering me from straining forward, then I become distracted.

So, how do I focus? I clear out the junk and strain forward, with my eye on the prize.  That and have a strong cup of coffee before, during, and after work.

How do you focus?

Micah Boy

On here I mostly complain to you all that I am really tired or how school is hard or how my life is crazy busy, not today.  Today I will not complain, as a matter of fact I am going to tell you about something incredible that happened to Sarah and I exactly one year ago today.

We had Micah Boy, yeah, this one --------------------------------------------------->

The first night we had him he slept all night, didn't make a peep, ate like a champ and I got to stay at the hospital with Sarah, life was good.  The next night same story, except we got to sleep at home.  Every night since then, save about 30 (bare in mind I do camps and mission trips that take me away from home for about 20 of those nights), Sarah and I haven't gotten a full nights sleep.  Why? Because Micah I am convinced hates sleep.

Contrary to his brother, who would sleep the majority of the day if you let him.  He is like an adolescent who enjoys watching 'Wonder Pets.'  Regardless of the lack of sleep Micah had colic, he had jaundice, and he still doesn't have very much hair.  But we love our boy, Micah Boy as he was affectionately dubbed by Coop.

Happy Birthday Micah Boy.

Here are a few pictures from when this kid popped out.

I am Dad, Hear Me Roar

I am a fan of being busy.  I like having things to do and a time frame to do them in.  I am a big fan of all things crazy fast, except Nascar, I hate Nascar.  Starting today though, I am a stay-at-home dad for three days a week.  Three days a week I get to read books before nap time, change diapers that have exploded out the side, and have Cheerios as one of my main food groups.  

I have been so swamped with life over the past year that I haven't had a chance to inhale and enjoy the blessings that God has given us.  Between work and school I feel like I haven't had the opportunity to just be with my kids.  Do I see them?  Yup, all the time.  And I enjoy them when I am with them and eat my meals with them and kiss them goodnight.  But it has all been so fast paced that I don't get the opportunity to enjoy the kisses and meals and night time prayers.

Today, I get that chance.  Today starts that opportunity for me and frankly I am ecstatic.  

The reason I get to stay home is because my wife is going back to work full time.  She, for the past year has been my support staff, around the house, with the boys, with meals, with life, she has supported me in every facet.  Now I get to return the favor.  I want to go shopping for food and cook meals and make her lunch and clean floors.  Did I just get a bunch of husband points for saying all of that?  Yup.

In summary, I get to stay home and be Dad.  I am worried about keeping up with two very mobile and always hungry children.  And I am amped to be husband to Sarah and support her in whatever needs she may have. 

Cheers.

Tall Coffee

If I was Lord Voldemort, coffee would be my unicorn blood.

One of the best things about living with my in-laws is that when I wake up, the sweet nectar of life has already been brewed and is waiting for me to partake in it's glory.  Today, when I stumbled out of bed I needed coffee bad as I was up half the night mulling over some recent conversations I had (on a different note Micah (8 months) slept well, I know this because I was awake the majority of the time he was sleeping).  I had a dark pleasingly bitter cup as I ate a pancake my wife made me.  Awesome morning, right?

As I pulled away from the curb my eyes were still heavy so I went to get a second cup of coffee at Starbucks.  I got to the window and was handed my cup of coffee and told the person in front of me had already paid for it. The first thing that went through my mind was this: "I am flattered but I'm married, sorry lady, my wife makes me pancakes in the morning," because obviously the only reason someone pays for someone else's coffee is because they are so incredibly good looking.

Then the barista told me the person in front of them paid for his coffee as well.  My next two thoughts were as follows:

First thought: I'm ashamed for thinking I was really really ridiculously good-looking (thanks Zoolander) and am not as flattered since the person in front of me was a dude.

Second thought: Does this mean I have to pay for the person behind me? What if it is a clown car with 13 people in it, all of whom ordered a trenta sized behemoth of an Americano?  Do I have enough money in savings to pay for that and am I okay supporting that size of an addiction, in that small of a car? 

So I asked the barista, "What did they order behind me?"

"Tall coffee."

I responded a little bit too excitedly to the barista, "YEAH, LET'S KEEP IT GOING!"

Long story short, I am ashamed of my arrogance, thankful that someone paid for my coffee, and I saved myself 45 cents this morning by paying for someone else's coffee.  

Why I'm Okay with my Blog Failing

My father-in-law sleeps 25 feet away from me every night, no, it's not a metaphor, it's my life.

Sarah's parents have been gracious enough to let us stay at their house while we are finding a new dwelling for ourselves.  They are rad to house a family of four with 2 boys under the age of two and two Australian Shepherds who do nothing more than destroy the lawn with their running races, wrestling matches, and acid pee (the dogs, not me).

One of my resolutions for the year was to write on this thing five times a week, as you can see I am like the, "Don't worry honey, I will get the oil changed," of resolutions, good intentioned but ultimately a failure.

The truth is I like to write, apparently I am awesome at it.  I am so good that my credentialing professors ask me to write anywhere from 8-14 papers a month, its exciting to be believed in!  Oh you didn't hear? I am going to school full time to become a high school teacher. No, I didn't quit my job to go to school full time, I work during the day, do homework at night and squeeze every bit of family time in that I can.  Sarah and I decided that wasn't enough so we decided to sell our house and move in with her parents until we find a replacement. 

Bryan Allain over at  bryanallain.com is a funny guy, he is smart, he likes baseball (well, the Red Sox, I don't know if you call what they do baseball) and he is in last place in our Fantasy Baseball league, regardless, he once tweeted this, "@bryanallain: someday i'm gonna look back at this time in my life and wonder how i did it. but for now, i just have to do it."  

I was up this morning at 5:30 after getting almost 4 hours of sleep, I will be up again in three hours feeding my eight month old kid who still doesn't sleep through the night, I wrote a sermon, a talk, three lesson plans and three papers today on top of watching Michael Scott wheel his luggage off to Boulder, CO.  It is times like these that make me want to punch college me in the face for saying I was ever tired.  But you continue, you move forward because, "for now, I just have to do it."

I won't blog everyday, probably not even every week because my life is like a G6.  I have no clue what a G6 is, but I think it is a fast airplane or a bingo number.  In either case my life demands that I continue, so continue I shall.

Lawn Mowers and Social Networking

On Saturday, I noticed my lawn mower got stolen.  It didn't get stolen on Saturday, I am pretty sure it was stolen a few weeks ago when grooming my yard was as high on my list of priorities as chewing ice and taxes.  But I got the yard work itch this weekend, I went and pulled weeds, raked out my flower beds, I felt good about my progress.

Then I went into my side yard to get my edger and lawn mower, all I saw was a pile of wood and a 20 foot metal pole mocking me.

So I did what all rational people do, I wrote a status update about it on my Facebook page.  Within 2 minutes of posting that comment I got a phone call from a good friend of mine, who like all good friends at first was angry for me, his greeting was actually, "Who the heck stole your lawn mower?"  To which I responded, "Wait, your lawn mower was stolen too?"  The conversation got confusing and awkward after that.

Regardless though, this friend of mine is going to let me borrow his lawn mower until we can get ours replaced, or until he forgets he loaned it to me and I write my name all over it.

Two things stick out to me most about this tale:

Social Networking works when you least expect it to.
       I had no thought in my mind that someone was going to reach out and allow me access to their lawn mower for as long as I needed it, he is even bringing it to me today because I am truckless and he is truckful.  It just makes me laugh sometimes when people go onto Facebook seeking advice or help and get a big fat "No Comments" on their status.

For example, when people write: things like What color shirt should I wear tomorrow? When there is a certified answer that is wanted, people are less likely to respond to that, why?   It is boring, people don't respond to boring on Social Networking sites.  That is why places like Twitter get a bad name sometimes because people write things like:

       @PeterNAnderson: I love my frosted flakes.

No one cares about your frosted flakes, but they would care about your frosted flakes if you write something like,

       @PeterNAnderson: I just found a severed finger in my frosted flakes that looks like Lincoln's face.

The strange, the unusual, the quirkiness of reality is what drives social media as well as the blessing that comes from encouraging other people and feeling like you are part of a larger community.

I wasn't pandering to try and get a lawn mower, I was simply stating that my lawn mower was stolen and the dude who stole it could at least trim my lawn on Satudays, but in my time of need when I thought my reality would be interesting to those in my social network, someone reached out to help out me and my family.

The other thing I learned is this:


I own my stuff, don't steal it, but if you do I hope it blesses you.


Please don't come into my yard and take my 300 dollar lawn mower, it is behind my fence for a reason, but if you do decide you want to break the law and take what doesn't belong to you I hope it blesses you and I will get a new one.

As a Christian I want to make sure that my treasures aren't kept on earth, I don't want my value to be tied to my things, especially my lawn mower, I hate mowing the lawn.  I don't want to be so tied to something that I can't ever part with it.

If a homeless person in need came up to me and asked for my favorite jacket of all time I want to be okay with giving it to him because I have a closet full at home (also that homeless person could have a golden voice that I could possibly profit from because I was nice and gave him my jacket).  I think that is part of having an eternal mindset rather than a temporal, is my pea-coat sweet? Ya, it is, if someone truly in need wanted it, I wouldn't hesitate to part ways with it, why?  Because I want to be the hands and feet of Christ and show love to those who get none.

Anything of yours ever been stolen?  How are you the hands and feet of Christ?