Confrontation Sucks

I hate confrontation.  Not like the kind where Maximus kills Caesar in the final scene of Gladiator, that type of conflict is awesome.  I don't like real conflict.  Real conflict like you see a brother or sister in Christ that needs to be loved back to where God wants them and the only way to do that is by speaking truth into their life, real, nasty, hard to swallow, truth.  These conversations are terrible, no one looks forward to them, but in order to continue growing in faith you have to have hard conversations, you have to do hard things.

Growing up I didn't like to stir the pot, I was often referred to as the voice of reason because I never wanted to rock the boat I never wanted to do anything that was going to get me in trouble, no matter how big the explosion was or how many pieces it blew up into.  I like being safe, I liked being comfortable.  Throughout these least two years I have come to terms with the idea that if you want to be a good man, husband, disciple, and friend you have to have hard conversations.  You have to have conversations that make you uneasy because these conversations are what help people grow, they help us grow.

I am glad I have a group of friends that is more than willing to nail me to the wall if I am acting in a way that is unrepresentative of the body of Christ.  I am glad I have friends who will look me in the eye and tell me I am wrong.  I am glad I have friends that will walk next to me and at times carry me towards righteousness when I have no more strength and a loss of will.

Hard conversations suck.

Confrontation sucks.

You know why people hate lifting weights?  (Other than the fact that it is boring and repetitive (just so I don't offend any really strong people, I lift weights and is may main source of exercise, so back up or I will flex my tricep in your general direction)).  People hate lifting weights because you are literally tearing your muscles in order for them to repair themselves and make the bigger and stronger.  Last time I checked tearing my muscle wasn't on my short list of things that reminded my of puppies and clouds made of cotton candy.

It's the same thing with confrontation.  It sucks, it is literally you telling someone you deeply care about about blind spots in their life. I can't guarantee it will make them a better person, but I can guarantee you will become a stronger version of yourself if you have hard conversations.

A Bearded Mentor

I got a letter the other day and by letter I don't mean a Christmas card with disgustingly cute pictures of babies on it, I mean a letter that was typed out for me to read and process. The contents of the letter don't concern you, but the sender of the letter does. Let's rewind to 2001 when Dre made his first comeback and bleached tips and pooka shells were still in style.

I was a wee lad in the summer of my Sophomore year of High School and I had just gotten back from an event with my Youth Group. On the trip was an older man whose car I got stuck in because the older students got the "cool" drivers who sped and raised the roof if Delerious or DC Talk came on. It didn't take much longer than a few minutes to realize that the man driving us was well read and wanted to pour into our lives, also he had a sweet beard. When we had returned from our trip the next day this bearded man pulled me aside and told me of my worth and my value, he told me that he loved me an that God loved me and had amazing things in store for me. It was one of the greatest encouragements I have ever received even to this day.

John and I have never sat and had coffee on a regular basis, I was never in his bible study, and we have never even lived in the same city but regardless of that I consider him to be one of my best mentors. Not because he calls me everyday or bakes prayer cookies for me but because every chance he gets he encourages me and challenges me simply by the way he lives his life.

At the end of every year I get a letter from John challenging me to look back and move forward in the name of God so that His kingdom may be glorified. I want to be that to others someday, an encouragement simply by the way I live my life.

How about you? Who is someone who encourages you and how do they do it?