Dad Apps

Last week I talked about the apps that sit around on my phone and I don't use, my crap apps if you will. As you can probably figure I have an iPhone, we have a love hate relationship, I love it and I hate when it isn't with me. It has essentially replaced every other piece of technology I use on a regular basis other than my computer that I use for word processing and blogging. So instead of the terrible apps that have no point of being on my phone, lets talk about the apps I use on a daily basis as a dad.


1. Camera- I wish I had the money to get a camera I don't know how to operate, but I don't so instead of packing a camera and extra charger, I don't. The camera on my phone takes relatively good pictures and the majority of the pictures we take come from it. If I want to edit my pictures I have the ability to, if I want to be trendy I can instagram it up. I can instantly upload pictures of my ridiculously cute kids to Facebook. We have more pictures of our kids this year because of this app than my mom has of me, ever.

2. White Noise- This has been a lifesaver on numerous occasions. We use this app to drown out the other sounds while our kids are sleeping. This app has come to our rescue when we forget the kids sound machine and has also been incredible to not have to pack the bulky CD player or sound machine when we go on trips, again, it is in my pocket and good to go.

3. Peekaboo Wild- Kids meltdown, it is inevitable and only a matter of time. Cooper has outgrown this app and gets bored pretty easy but Micah has just discovered how incredible this is. It makes a 15 minute car ride bearable when it could have been a stressful crazy disaster.

Again, I love my phone, and for different reasons but it makes parenting easier and I am able to catch more memories because of it. There are always those times that your phone can be a distraction, so be wary of overusing technology and overusing your phone. Be present when your kids are but if used correctly, can be a great addition to your parenting arsenal.

Here's some fun Coop had on my phone the other day.

What'd I Just Say?

As I was walking into church this morning with my wife and two kids we ran into our good friends the Silvas.  They have been parents now for about 5 months and are very much into the swing of parenthood.  I know this because as we approached the church Denver asked his wife if she remembered the 'Horsey.'  He was referencing the unicornesque stuffed animal that is one of their kid's favorite toys, but hearing a man as rugged as Denver watering down a word to make it more kid friendly made me laugh a bit and simultaneously lose respect for him as a man.  I started thinking about all of the hits my manhood has taken by the change in language that occurred when a kid popped out of my wife.  Here are a few words that I never would have said as bachelor but now are in my everyday vocabulary:

1. Cute- Sounds innocent enough right?  Wrong.  I can feel the testosterone leaving my body any time I say, "Sarah, Micah looks so cute in that sweater vest and button up shirt outfit today."  It is like that word is the thorn and manliness is the inflatable raft you bought this summer at Walgreens for 7.99, if they ever touch, it is gone forever.   Sounds innocent, and that is the problem, it sounds innocent.

2.  Y, EY, IE, S- These are suffixes that have the power to emasculate any word within a five mile radius.   Even gross words are disarmed by these suffixes, poopy, toots, tinkles, etc.  If you utter words with these suffixes it is quite possible your facial hair will fall out and you will start smelling better immediately.  At first it sounds like a good trade off, all you have to do is add a Y to the end of a word and you don't have to shave anymore, sweet.  You are wrong though, who is the last man you respected without any facial hair that isn't me?  Thats what I thought, none men, and my grammar is incorrect because it made me feel more good about I as a manly.

3.  Potty- Being in the midst of potty training with Cooper I say this word hundreds of times a day, in fact the most commonly heard phrase in our house right now is, "Cooper, do you have to go tinkles on the potty?"  Really!? A twenty year old version of myself would have beat me up for saying anything even remotely close to that.

4.  Paci  (Pass-ee)- Is in Pacifier shortened.  This is a word that I thought was a good compromise at first because I wasn't going to be caught dead saying "binky."  It doesn't matter if it is binky, paci, or meemer, they all sound like sound effects for a terrible action movie.  You know how Chuck Norris is going to die? I do.  He is going to say the word 'paci' and roundhouse kick himself in the mouth for saying it.

5.  Bah-bah- As in bottle.  Bah-bah isn't bad, for a one year old they can say it and they know what you are referring to so it isn't so much baby talk for the sake of baby talk but rather for the sake of communication, it is his evil twin brother with a creepstache that stays home online talking to hot chicks that I have an issues with, bah-bahs.  It is an abbreviation of the actual word combined with the emasculating suffix of 'S' that causes this word to be so disarming to manhood that if uttered you are forced to buy an American-Girl doll and take it with you everywhere.  It is a terrible occurrence but I have seen it happen, twice.

In reality I don't have beef with any of these words as I use them on a regular basis but still enjoy watching baseball even if I don't understand the rules or chatting over a warm cup of coffee cuddled in a soft blanket with my BFF. Crap.

Moms and Dads, what are some words that entered into your home when a baby did?  I really am interested to hear these, please leave your comments below.  Happy Monday.

The Couch

When we got a new couch two years ago we paid an extra fifty bucks to get it insured.  Not insured like the Lord of the Dance's legs, but insured like if my youngest son vomits all over it and me at the same time people would come to our house and clean it, for free (or for fifty bucks, I'm not really sure how it works).  I'm not sure how it works because we have never used it.  The thought of calling some dude to drive 30 minutes to my house to shampoo my couch and clean off boogers doesn't appeal to me.  By the time I clean up my entire house so it's presentable for the tatted up college-aged shampoo guy I could have scratched to snot off the sofa myself, plus I wouldn't have to clean my house.

You are asking yourself two things right now:
1. Why would you clean your house for a guy to come clean your house?
     Good question, ask my mom the same thing about our house cleaner who came every Wednesday when I was 10.

2.  Why did you pay fifty bucks and not take advantage of what you payed for?
      Again, good question, but this time don't ask my mom, she will be embarrassed that I wasted my money, also, don't judge me.

In a fairytale the 50 dollars for a cleaning any time you want sounds great, but in reality, with two boys, spilled milk, snot, blood (at times), and poop, lots of poop, things get dirty everyday, new spots get a home everyday.  And everyday, or every other, they get cleaned up.

Right now we are renting a home in Kingsburg, CA, we like it, but I never noticed how much damage two kids and two active dogs could do.  I hope my landlord isn't reading this, but the week we moved in, the old cat door to the garage was snapped in half, not by my dogs, by Micah.  Who doesn't want to play with broken plastic and at the same time make a hole into the garage?

On the Fourth of July our dogs flipped out and tore off two screen doors, one of which I am pretty sure survived the great depression without being turned into firewood, but couldn't stand up to our loveably hyper animals.

Our couches double as jungle gyms, our beds as trampolines, and our lawn as bathrooms (for the dogs, mostly).

Rarely is there a day when there is more sitting on our couch than there is jumping.  And for us, that is okay for now.  When Cooper and Micah start to weigh in at 50-60 lbs, our couch won't be able to handle the stress of body slams and tackling drills anymore.

Our house doubles as a jungle gym, what does yours double as?  Office? Gym? Media Center? Church? After school hangout?

I'm a Student of My Work

I have been a part time stay at home dad now for about a month and I decided that it is time to let you all know about some of the best things I have learned since staying at home.

1. My wife is way better at staying home than me- I needed to get that out of the way because since being at home I can finally appreciate the work she has put in with our boys by staying at home.  I am more tired at the end of a stay at home day than I am after work.

2. You have to feed your kids 3 meals a day- Granted I knew that, but I am pretty sure I am cooking for 16 hours a day right now.  And it isn't just cooking one meal that the boys and I can sit down and eat together, it is differentiating meals for my 1 year old, 2 year old, and myself and frankly... I'm a picky eater.

3. Tangled is the best thing on Netflix- I am pretty sure I have seen different parts of this movie about 100 times, my kids still aren't tired of it, nor am I.  Flynn Rider is my hero, mostly because his facial hair mimics my own, a patch on the chin and nothing else.  It is about time we get rid of this idea that manliness comes with a full beard, I am starting to equate manhood with a smallish patch of hair on the bottom of people's faces, right now.

4.  Cooper loves his brother to the point of pain- 99% of the crying that happens in this house is due to Cooper trying to hug his brother, or move his brother, or tackle his brother.  Trying to explain to a two year old that he can dominate his little brother and he needs to be careful is like explaining to a horse that I am terrified to get on his back.  It doesn't register, and now matter how much I talk someone is still going to get hurt.

5.  White floors are not conducive to raising children- Really? Who installs white laminate anywhere? Thanks landlords for making me clean my floors hourly.

6. Deadbolts are non-negotiable- Coop has a desire to sneak outside any chance he gets, he is like David Copperfield without the terrible wardrobe, bad hair, and womanizing ways.  He can reach the knobs now but the deadbolt is still out of reach, gotta keep 'em locked, always.

Yup, six things I have learned since staying at home, mostly common sense, but to a man who has to live it to appreciate it, some of these have blown my mind.

Stay at home moms and dads, what is the funniest thing you have learned since being at home?

Micah Turned One

We had Micah boy's first birthday party here about a month ago and Sarah was a champ and did just about everything herself.  With some great last minute help from my Mom, her husband Loyd and Sarah's parents the party was great.  I thought I would share a few pictures from the festivities which was an All-American Baseball theme.

Papa Loyd

Juniper, Cooper, and my cousin Becky 

Sarah's best friend Lissa Sander

My friends Denver and Corey (Lissa's husband)

Sarah's Mom Susan 

My favorite moment when Sarah's grandpa Dick tried to give Micah some of his Dr. Pepper

Ryan (Sarah's Brother) Brad (Sarah's Dad) and Bergie (Sarah's Grandpa)

 It was a great party overall and Sarah was a champ completing this party after her first week back to school in a new grade.  We love our Micah boy and feel so blessed by those who are a part of his life both near and far away.

Slowin'

My Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

Life change is crazy.  Since Sarah and I have been married there hasn't been a single year where we have had the same combination of jobs or the same number of occupants twice in a row.  Since we got married one thing has remained the same, I have always been employed full-time.  Cooper was born, I still got eight hours to myself during the day, Micah was born, same thing, we moved, I got eight hours of freedom from the madness of unpacking.  I always had an outlet at work to be able to sideline my thoughts and just do the work that I felt called to do.

Then last November happened, I came to a point in my life where I had to make a decision, I need to continue my education and it was going to be in either Seminary or in teaching.  After a ton of prayer and seeking the counsel of some of the people I trust the most in my life I decided that God was leading me away from full-time ministry.  Since then I have almost completed my Single Subject Credential for English, and am now working part time at Selma FBC as the High School Pastor.

In the past when things changed it was all about life speeding up, an addition to the family, an opportunity to speak somewhere, a new house, fixing a new house, selling a new house, etc. but this time the change is about slowing down, and it is one of the hardest adjustments I have ever had to make. I check Twitter about 70 times a day in between making meals for my kids and doing the laundry... again.  Slow is hard for me, especially when my wife is working but her heart is to be at home with her boys and I love my boys but I wasn't made to nurture them the way Sarah does, so I would prefer to work as she stayed home.  It makes it even harder.

I know as a Pastor I am supposed to have this whole, "be still and know that I am God," thing down, but I don't, not even close.  I have been forced to slow down, forced to wake up at 6 am when my boys do and have nothing to do but take care of them (which is huge job in itself) all day long.  I have no where to go because Sarah has the only car, it is too hot for the park right now, and I am not taking my kids to any play dates because that'd be awkward for me and the other guardian who I guarantee is female (you know they are female because a man wouldn't call it a play date, they would call it tackle football).

Regardless, God is teaching me to slow down and to remember what is most important in my life.  I have to go and save Cooper from a scary lion that doesn't exist.

Micah Boy

On here I mostly complain to you all that I am really tired or how school is hard or how my life is crazy busy, not today.  Today I will not complain, as a matter of fact I am going to tell you about something incredible that happened to Sarah and I exactly one year ago today.

We had Micah Boy, yeah, this one --------------------------------------------------->

The first night we had him he slept all night, didn't make a peep, ate like a champ and I got to stay at the hospital with Sarah, life was good.  The next night same story, except we got to sleep at home.  Every night since then, save about 30 (bare in mind I do camps and mission trips that take me away from home for about 20 of those nights), Sarah and I haven't gotten a full nights sleep.  Why? Because Micah I am convinced hates sleep.

Contrary to his brother, who would sleep the majority of the day if you let him.  He is like an adolescent who enjoys watching 'Wonder Pets.'  Regardless of the lack of sleep Micah had colic, he had jaundice, and he still doesn't have very much hair.  But we love our boy, Micah Boy as he was affectionately dubbed by Coop.

Happy Birthday Micah Boy.

Here are a few pictures from when this kid popped out.