Dad Apps

Last week I talked about the apps that sit around on my phone and I don't use, my crap apps if you will. As you can probably figure I have an iPhone, we have a love hate relationship, I love it and I hate when it isn't with me. It has essentially replaced every other piece of technology I use on a regular basis other than my computer that I use for word processing and blogging. So instead of the terrible apps that have no point of being on my phone, lets talk about the apps I use on a daily basis as a dad.


1. Camera- I wish I had the money to get a camera I don't know how to operate, but I don't so instead of packing a camera and extra charger, I don't. The camera on my phone takes relatively good pictures and the majority of the pictures we take come from it. If I want to edit my pictures I have the ability to, if I want to be trendy I can instagram it up. I can instantly upload pictures of my ridiculously cute kids to Facebook. We have more pictures of our kids this year because of this app than my mom has of me, ever.

2. White Noise- This has been a lifesaver on numerous occasions. We use this app to drown out the other sounds while our kids are sleeping. This app has come to our rescue when we forget the kids sound machine and has also been incredible to not have to pack the bulky CD player or sound machine when we go on trips, again, it is in my pocket and good to go.

3. Peekaboo Wild- Kids meltdown, it is inevitable and only a matter of time. Cooper has outgrown this app and gets bored pretty easy but Micah has just discovered how incredible this is. It makes a 15 minute car ride bearable when it could have been a stressful crazy disaster.

Again, I love my phone, and for different reasons but it makes parenting easier and I am able to catch more memories because of it. There are always those times that your phone can be a distraction, so be wary of overusing technology and overusing your phone. Be present when your kids are but if used correctly, can be a great addition to your parenting arsenal.

Here's some fun Coop had on my phone the other day.

What'd I Just Say?

As I was walking into church this morning with my wife and two kids we ran into our good friends the Silvas.  They have been parents now for about 5 months and are very much into the swing of parenthood.  I know this because as we approached the church Denver asked his wife if she remembered the 'Horsey.'  He was referencing the unicornesque stuffed animal that is one of their kid's favorite toys, but hearing a man as rugged as Denver watering down a word to make it more kid friendly made me laugh a bit and simultaneously lose respect for him as a man.  I started thinking about all of the hits my manhood has taken by the change in language that occurred when a kid popped out of my wife.  Here are a few words that I never would have said as bachelor but now are in my everyday vocabulary:

1. Cute- Sounds innocent enough right?  Wrong.  I can feel the testosterone leaving my body any time I say, "Sarah, Micah looks so cute in that sweater vest and button up shirt outfit today."  It is like that word is the thorn and manliness is the inflatable raft you bought this summer at Walgreens for 7.99, if they ever touch, it is gone forever.   Sounds innocent, and that is the problem, it sounds innocent.

2.  Y, EY, IE, S- These are suffixes that have the power to emasculate any word within a five mile radius.   Even gross words are disarmed by these suffixes, poopy, toots, tinkles, etc.  If you utter words with these suffixes it is quite possible your facial hair will fall out and you will start smelling better immediately.  At first it sounds like a good trade off, all you have to do is add a Y to the end of a word and you don't have to shave anymore, sweet.  You are wrong though, who is the last man you respected without any facial hair that isn't me?  Thats what I thought, none men, and my grammar is incorrect because it made me feel more good about I as a manly.

3.  Potty- Being in the midst of potty training with Cooper I say this word hundreds of times a day, in fact the most commonly heard phrase in our house right now is, "Cooper, do you have to go tinkles on the potty?"  Really!? A twenty year old version of myself would have beat me up for saying anything even remotely close to that.

4.  Paci  (Pass-ee)- Is in Pacifier shortened.  This is a word that I thought was a good compromise at first because I wasn't going to be caught dead saying "binky."  It doesn't matter if it is binky, paci, or meemer, they all sound like sound effects for a terrible action movie.  You know how Chuck Norris is going to die? I do.  He is going to say the word 'paci' and roundhouse kick himself in the mouth for saying it.

5.  Bah-bah- As in bottle.  Bah-bah isn't bad, for a one year old they can say it and they know what you are referring to so it isn't so much baby talk for the sake of baby talk but rather for the sake of communication, it is his evil twin brother with a creepstache that stays home online talking to hot chicks that I have an issues with, bah-bahs.  It is an abbreviation of the actual word combined with the emasculating suffix of 'S' that causes this word to be so disarming to manhood that if uttered you are forced to buy an American-Girl doll and take it with you everywhere.  It is a terrible occurrence but I have seen it happen, twice.

In reality I don't have beef with any of these words as I use them on a regular basis but still enjoy watching baseball even if I don't understand the rules or chatting over a warm cup of coffee cuddled in a soft blanket with my BFF. Crap.

Moms and Dads, what are some words that entered into your home when a baby did?  I really am interested to hear these, please leave your comments below.  Happy Monday.

The Couch

When we got a new couch two years ago we paid an extra fifty bucks to get it insured.  Not insured like the Lord of the Dance's legs, but insured like if my youngest son vomits all over it and me at the same time people would come to our house and clean it, for free (or for fifty bucks, I'm not really sure how it works).  I'm not sure how it works because we have never used it.  The thought of calling some dude to drive 30 minutes to my house to shampoo my couch and clean off boogers doesn't appeal to me.  By the time I clean up my entire house so it's presentable for the tatted up college-aged shampoo guy I could have scratched to snot off the sofa myself, plus I wouldn't have to clean my house.

You are asking yourself two things right now:
1. Why would you clean your house for a guy to come clean your house?
     Good question, ask my mom the same thing about our house cleaner who came every Wednesday when I was 10.

2.  Why did you pay fifty bucks and not take advantage of what you payed for?
      Again, good question, but this time don't ask my mom, she will be embarrassed that I wasted my money, also, don't judge me.

In a fairytale the 50 dollars for a cleaning any time you want sounds great, but in reality, with two boys, spilled milk, snot, blood (at times), and poop, lots of poop, things get dirty everyday, new spots get a home everyday.  And everyday, or every other, they get cleaned up.

Right now we are renting a home in Kingsburg, CA, we like it, but I never noticed how much damage two kids and two active dogs could do.  I hope my landlord isn't reading this, but the week we moved in, the old cat door to the garage was snapped in half, not by my dogs, by Micah.  Who doesn't want to play with broken plastic and at the same time make a hole into the garage?

On the Fourth of July our dogs flipped out and tore off two screen doors, one of which I am pretty sure survived the great depression without being turned into firewood, but couldn't stand up to our loveably hyper animals.

Our couches double as jungle gyms, our beds as trampolines, and our lawn as bathrooms (for the dogs, mostly).

Rarely is there a day when there is more sitting on our couch than there is jumping.  And for us, that is okay for now.  When Cooper and Micah start to weigh in at 50-60 lbs, our couch won't be able to handle the stress of body slams and tackling drills anymore.

Our house doubles as a jungle gym, what does yours double as?  Office? Gym? Media Center? Church? After school hangout?

I'm a Student of My Work

I have been a part time stay at home dad now for about a month and I decided that it is time to let you all know about some of the best things I have learned since staying at home.

1. My wife is way better at staying home than me- I needed to get that out of the way because since being at home I can finally appreciate the work she has put in with our boys by staying at home.  I am more tired at the end of a stay at home day than I am after work.

2. You have to feed your kids 3 meals a day- Granted I knew that, but I am pretty sure I am cooking for 16 hours a day right now.  And it isn't just cooking one meal that the boys and I can sit down and eat together, it is differentiating meals for my 1 year old, 2 year old, and myself and frankly... I'm a picky eater.

3. Tangled is the best thing on Netflix- I am pretty sure I have seen different parts of this movie about 100 times, my kids still aren't tired of it, nor am I.  Flynn Rider is my hero, mostly because his facial hair mimics my own, a patch on the chin and nothing else.  It is about time we get rid of this idea that manliness comes with a full beard, I am starting to equate manhood with a smallish patch of hair on the bottom of people's faces, right now.

4.  Cooper loves his brother to the point of pain- 99% of the crying that happens in this house is due to Cooper trying to hug his brother, or move his brother, or tackle his brother.  Trying to explain to a two year old that he can dominate his little brother and he needs to be careful is like explaining to a horse that I am terrified to get on his back.  It doesn't register, and now matter how much I talk someone is still going to get hurt.

5.  White floors are not conducive to raising children- Really? Who installs white laminate anywhere? Thanks landlords for making me clean my floors hourly.

6. Deadbolts are non-negotiable- Coop has a desire to sneak outside any chance he gets, he is like David Copperfield without the terrible wardrobe, bad hair, and womanizing ways.  He can reach the knobs now but the deadbolt is still out of reach, gotta keep 'em locked, always.

Yup, six things I have learned since staying at home, mostly common sense, but to a man who has to live it to appreciate it, some of these have blown my mind.

Stay at home moms and dads, what is the funniest thing you have learned since being at home?

Focus III on Poop

When I was being potty trained it was really easy for me, so easy that I don't even remember it, which means it couldn't have been that insurmountable of an obstacle.  I must have been drawn to the porcelain naturally, consequently, I still am, hmm.  

Cooper has been in the midst of potty training for the last twoish weeks and he has been a champ when it comes to onesies (the act peeing in the toilet, not the popular baby clothing).  He even sleeps through his naps and the night without wetting the bed, pretty awesome.  Twosies thus far have been an issue though.  By issue I mean he went numero dos in his underwear and as I was cleaning that up he squatted again and pooped on the floor, while 4 of my best friends were chatting with me on Google+, awesome.


I started thinking about the change that Cooper is trying to make.  For two and a half years this kid has done his business in what he was wearing and continued on his way as if nothing were wrong, because in his mind, there wasn't.  Now he is at a point where he has to change his entire way of thinking.  It isn't just the act of going to the bathroom in the toilet, it is the act of recognizing that what he is doing is no longer acceptable and he needs to change that habit.


I read this verse this morning and the thought of focusing has ripped me to pieces lately:


"Romans 8:5
For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit."


When we focus it isn't just that we need to know what we are doing and the direction we are headed, but we need to make sure our thinking is changing from the flesh to the Spirit.  We need to make sure our focus is on the Spirit and what He has for us, not what we wish we had ourselves.


That's when I thought about the change Cooper is making into self-sufficiency, and obviously we have a ways to go before we can wash our hands of helping him in the bathroom or even dressing him for that matter, but he is on his way to  life change because he is recognizing that the old way of doing things is no longer okay, their is a new better way to do his business.


We need to focus on the new, better way of doing our business, focusing our minds and our sights on the Spirit, not on the flesh.


What is something you have had trouble focusing on because it was difficult to attain?


Mine is staying in decent shape.  We will talk about that tomorrow.

Slowin'

My Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

Life change is crazy.  Since Sarah and I have been married there hasn't been a single year where we have had the same combination of jobs or the same number of occupants twice in a row.  Since we got married one thing has remained the same, I have always been employed full-time.  Cooper was born, I still got eight hours to myself during the day, Micah was born, same thing, we moved, I got eight hours of freedom from the madness of unpacking.  I always had an outlet at work to be able to sideline my thoughts and just do the work that I felt called to do.

Then last November happened, I came to a point in my life where I had to make a decision, I need to continue my education and it was going to be in either Seminary or in teaching.  After a ton of prayer and seeking the counsel of some of the people I trust the most in my life I decided that God was leading me away from full-time ministry.  Since then I have almost completed my Single Subject Credential for English, and am now working part time at Selma FBC as the High School Pastor.

In the past when things changed it was all about life speeding up, an addition to the family, an opportunity to speak somewhere, a new house, fixing a new house, selling a new house, etc. but this time the change is about slowing down, and it is one of the hardest adjustments I have ever had to make. I check Twitter about 70 times a day in between making meals for my kids and doing the laundry... again.  Slow is hard for me, especially when my wife is working but her heart is to be at home with her boys and I love my boys but I wasn't made to nurture them the way Sarah does, so I would prefer to work as she stayed home.  It makes it even harder.

I know as a Pastor I am supposed to have this whole, "be still and know that I am God," thing down, but I don't, not even close.  I have been forced to slow down, forced to wake up at 6 am when my boys do and have nothing to do but take care of them (which is huge job in itself) all day long.  I have no where to go because Sarah has the only car, it is too hot for the park right now, and I am not taking my kids to any play dates because that'd be awkward for me and the other guardian who I guarantee is female (you know they are female because a man wouldn't call it a play date, they would call it tackle football).

Regardless, God is teaching me to slow down and to remember what is most important in my life.  I have to go and save Cooper from a scary lion that doesn't exist.

Staying Regular

Aound the Anderson home routines are very important, mostly because if I don't have a routine established I will most likely be as productive as the road workers who have been causing my 10 minute commute to be a 12 minute one.  Needless to say most of the routines we have established are based around the boys and their need for regularity (both their schedule and their bowels).

Cooper has now established his own routine though, it is about as cute as a routine can be, and be cute I mean rugged in a future lumberjack with lots of chest hair and Y chromosomes sort of way.  We brush his teeth, we read him one of the same four books we read every night then we turn off his light.  Well, he turns out his light when we lift him up the pull the chain.  Every night he asks if he can pull the other chain, every night we say, "No, not that one." He says, "Okay Mommy and Daddy."

After the lights is out we say his bedtime prayer with him.  As soon as "amen" hits he pushes me away to both hug his mom alone and to say, "Daddy, where'd you go?" It was hilarious the first 3-4 times he did it, now I think he is actually trying to get rid of me.  We put him into his big kid bed, Sarah sings to him and he's out for the night.

Either Cooper is going to have a severe case of OCD or his need for normalcy is the same as an adults.  We establish routines for comfort as that is how we work best, play best, and live best.  Maybe, we can all take a page out of Cooperman's book.  What routines do you keep on a regular basis?

It's a Pooptastrophe

Sarah sent this to me this morning after I was already at work, I hope you laugh as hard as I did.  Sarah, however, did not see the humor in it.

Monday Morning with Coop

About a week ago something happened, I don't know what it was or why it was but someone flipped a switch and Cooper entered into his "terrible twos."  Before I get too much further into this I want you to know I never believed in the terrible twos, I considered them an excuse for parents to use when their kids acted out in stores or in front of extended family, but after this last week I can truly say I am 100 percent on board with this whole terrible twos idea.

This is how it happened, Cooper went to bed one night, and it was normal, it was nice. We laid down and read his San Francisco Giants book as I quizzed him on the different pieces of baseball attire (cleats, batting gloves, hat, jersey, etc. (starting shortstop in 2032 for the Giants)) we said his night time prayer and put him down with his ever growing collection of stuffed animals that are in his crib.  Everything was good, everything was normal.

The next morning he slept in until after I left for work. At about 10:30 I got a phone call from my wife who sounded worn down, on the other end of the phone was a crying baby and a screaming almost 2 year old.  Sarah went on to tell me that Cooper wasn't acting like himself, demanding things saying "no" on a whim when normally he is one of the most obedient children in the world.  This wasn't the precious little innocent boy I have enjoyed for the previous 21 months, this kid was a monster (but a really cute monster, think Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc.)

It isn't that coop wants to be defiant, he isn't plotting in his crib with Lots-o-Huggin' bear and his stuffed monkey that is wearing a Giants jersey.  Coop is just trying to figure out how to be independent, he is testing his boundaries and with that Mom and Dad's patience.  So last week the Big TO was enlisted for the first time, and no we didn't call in overhyped and underperformed Terrel Owens to discipline our kid, Coop got his first real big kid time out.  He hated it, but not at first.  

I asked him I said, "Cooper, if you keep fussing you are going to have to get a timeout," his response was, "Timeout? Okay Daddy!" Hmmm, in hindsight maybe I didn't make it sound scary enough, like instead I should have called it the "Dragons Pen" or "Mannequin Alley."  Either way it didn't strike much fear into The Coop, until he had to sit there.

I had to hold my son still in timeout for a whole minute because he refused to eat one more bite of his sandwich before he got to have some jell-o.  it took all of my ability not to laugh as my son was melting down because he had to have a bite of his favorite food.

Parenting gets rough, it isn't fun implementing timeout or disciplining your kid at all for that matter, but our oldest is at an age where he knows what is right and wrong and we have to make sure that he is raised in such a way that when he is 35 he isn't collapsing on the floor in a screaming fit because a Barista put whipped cream on his caramel macciato.

Did your kids ever enter into the terrible twos?  How did you deal with it, because i am kind of scared I broke Cooper somehow.

Things Change and That's Rad

Before you start reading look at the date, it may just blow your mind.  Now look at the time this post went up, too bad your head just exploded and now you cant read the rest of my post...

Big kid beds are sweet, and not sweet like daisies and sun-dresses on 3 year old girls, sweet like,  Jack Bauer really made Chloe shoot him in the chest.  It is a big deal, it is crazy when it happens and just like me when I saw the last episode of 24, Coop started jumping on the bed, playing with his Buzz and Woody toys, and even peed a little.

Transitions continue to happen in the Anderson home, and they are phenomenal.  Cooper is getting used to his bed by laying it in before nap time and bed time, reading books, in bed with mom and dad and occasionally taking a nap.


What I have realized since becoming a dad is that your kids are in a constant state of change and transition.  A day doesn't go by when I am not amazed at something one of my boys does.  For example I got a picture sent to me yesterday of Micah being a big kid and supporting himself, holding his head up, he looks like a stud, I know.

Not long after that picture was taken my wife sent me a second one of our same loving beautiful comedian.  He decided to vomit everywhere, on Sarah, on himself, and the whole time he looked adorably disgustingly cute doing it.

Cooper was this old not long ago, he was vomiting and looking cute doing it, now if Cooper vomits it not only is really not cute, it is cause for concern.

The transitions that our boys make also causes me to have to protect my boys in different ways.  I want my boys growing up taking risk but two days ago Cooper was rocking on a rocking chair backwards when he almost fell off the back and cracked his head on the most vicious coffee table ever created.

I don't have to worry about rocking chairs with Micah yet, right now my main concern is putting enough pillows on the couch so he doesn't roll off the side.

This turned into me throwing all of my thoughts onto the page, so take from it what you will, but I will end with this.

As Christians and beyond that as humans in order to grow we need to be in a constant state of transition, it doesn't have to be with our kids, it doesn't have to be with a new job our spouse, it needs to be in deciding to go a new direction with your life and going in that direction.

Most of us have broken our New Year Resolutions by now and that's okay, but transition is what grows us and makes us who we truly are.  Transition and enjoy the ride.

Look back at your life what are some of the hardest transitions you have ever had to make?

Apparently I Hate Toys

Cooper had a great Christmas, he got lots of toys and flashing lights but he rediscovered a toy that won't let me forget it.  I took this video when my sanity was leaving me, I had a headache, I was feeling overwhelmed after the holiday season and then my loving son decided he wanted to play with a toy that loves to repeat itself.

I think toys are as cool as the next Youth Pastor, there is a remote controlled Big Foot that wants me to buy it every time I walk past in Wal Mart.  But some toys just get absolutely ridiculous, with the amount of lights and sounds that get put on them, this fire truck is a great example, but there are a few others I would like to call attention to and more specifically would like to let the toy making companies of know how much I hate the power they hold over me.

1. Wiggle and Giggle Guitar - First off, we don't watch the Wiggles, Cooper is into Leap Frog, Super Why, Handy Manny and Yo Gabba Gabba!  I think that means his profession will be a construction worker who enjoys dancing while reading Shakespeare; what can I say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  But I digress, this toy is the bane of my existence, when you press the buttons on some toys they repeat the sound, not this one, this plays the sounds on top of each other.  Which wouldn't be so bad if there were 3 sounds, but it has like 57 different sounds and when they are all playing at the same time sounds like a migraine for Daddy.  I beat this toy once, I took out the batteries and Cooper was still happy with it, however his uncle wanted to be the favorite and put the batteries back in and then taught Cooper how to turn it on.  Thanks Uncle Phil.

2. Sound Puzzles- I was never that into puzzles, it took too much time and concentration for me to finish them, plus you never know if you have all of the pieces until you spend 4 days of your life trying to complete the God forsaken thing only to realize you are missing two pieces.  Oh well, better luck on your next 5,000 piece puzzle of jellybeans and grass.  But my disdain for puzzles escalated when a puzzle that was rejected my my brother and sister-in-law made its way to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  It is a animal sound puzzle made so when you put the piece into the right spot it makes the respective animal sound, sounds cute right?  I am now almost convinced this puzzle is possessed as it meows at it's leisure and moos any time the light gets turned on or off.  It has been banished to the play room but the boy still finds it sometimes and chases me through the house with it.

3. Sticky Hands- This is my wrong doing and I am sorry Mom and Dad, being a parent I see the error of my ways.  Sticky hands are the only good things to come out of the 25 cent machines ever.  The best part about them was there ability to be slung at someone and return right back to you.  I distinctly remember a car ride home from the mall where I dropped 50 cents to get a bigger sticky hand with a real plastic handle.  I was sitting behind my mom in the car and the back of her head became my target for the 15 minute car ride.  I never understood why she got so mad at me until my son played the fireman remix on his fire truck the other night.

Toys can be a great tool in parenting, but are of the bells and whistles really necessary?  My favorite toys growing up were a baseball and a stuffed animal named spike, thank you toy companies for making me sound like an old man.

Any annoying toys that you can recall receiving or getting, if not, I have plenty more I can share.

Monday Morning with Coop

When Bing Crosby sang "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" he was probably in the Central Valley, because a dream is as close as we get to having anything white on the ground during the Winter Season. So it being December I wanted to do something fun for my son and niece, Juniper, who Sarah watches on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Now if I had my way we would be behind massive snow forts making snowballs and hitting each other in the face with those snowballs until someone started to cry. But there is still no snow, however, I think if I wait long enough there will be enough to build a little snowman, like the size snowman a plastic GI Joe would build if they were alive, and they made snowmen rather than fighting team Cobra.

So instead of whizzing snowballs at my 20 month old son and 2 and a half year old niece I raked leaves so they could play, and once they got used to the other stuff that was in the sidewalk gutter they loved it. (Not really, they played on the grass but still, it would have saved me some time if it were socially acceptable to let your kids play with leaves soaked in dirty gutter water.) Long story short, here are some pictures I snapped.

I left out the pictures of me jumping in the leaves with them because they were having so much fun I wanted to get in on the action.  I want to be able to create special moments like this one on a regular basis.  As a Dad it isn't my job to sit idly by and let mom plan all the activities as Monday Night Football is on TV.  Creating adventures for our kids is huge in them developing into self-assured, confident, independent people.

The adventures don't have to be rake the leaves and have a sitcom afternoon throwing leaves and galavanting in the midst of all the fall colors.  It could be simple like when I was little we used to decorate sugar cookies with my parents, their friends, and all of their kids, it was a blast decorating cookies shaped like stockings with neon blue and yellow frosting.  Did most of the cookies end up getting thrown away because they were too sweet?  Yup, but it was an adventure in itself that my parents wanted us to do because it was fun and special and out of the ordinary, it was an adventure.

What things have you done this season to make it special for your kids?  What things do you plan on doing?  Don't have kids? What adventures are you going to partake in?

Merry Christmas to Coop's eye

I love having boys because it is times like these that begin to shape who they are. Cuts aren't fun, but the adventure that led to the cut makes it all worth it.




Fireplaces have sharp edges, Coop knows that now and will jump further away next time.

Monday Morning with Coop

So yesterday during Coopers nap he pooped, which is fine, babies do that. The bad thing about it was once my child woke up from his nap, he some how finagled out of his diaper, like Harry Houdini from a straight jacket, or me from attending a Miley Cyrus movie. It was amazing, it was smooth, it didn't look like there was any complications. It looked as if he had been doing it for years. He was naked when I walked in, and in "hind sight" (yes that was an intentional pun) it was much easier to clean him up, granted i had to wipe his feet too because he may or may not have been standing in it, but easier none-the-less.

It was actually kind of nice having to go through that, odd I know, but that is one of those stories that you hear Dads recount time and time again, it may be a story a share with his girlfriend later on in life, maybe it will be one that I share with him when his son does the same thing. I don't know, what I do know is that Sarah and I starting to look at big kid beds for our baby boy since he is going to be kicked out of the nursery soon because we will be having a new tenant. But it is crazy to think that I can now begin to reminisce about Cooper when he was a baby. Think about how bad of a sleeper he was, how great of an eater he was (which is why he was a bad sleeper, he was always hungry) how he refused to eat rice cereal for the first month we tried it unless the "Little Einsteins" theme music was on.
Now he is walking, talking, playing drums (he doesn't know if he wants to pursue it as a career or not yet, just as a hobby right now), even weight lifting. People always tell Sarah and I how quickly they grow up, and I know they do, but I just got Cooper figured out, and it seems like every time that happens, he has to go and learn something.

I know freezing time isn't an option so I guess settling for making the most of the stages of life he goes through will have to be sufficient.