Foods I Love(d)

Yesterday our Junior Pastor Andrew came in to the office and offered me a free burger from Carls Jr.  It wasn't just any burger though, it was my life blood throughout high school, my mandatory stop when I was in Merced, this burger is the very reason I had to watch what I was eating starting my Senior Year of High School, it was the Western Bacon Cheese Burger.  It is terrible, and full of stuff that shouldn't be put into your body in the form that it comes, and I have done a great job at swearing off the WBCB (my pet name for it) but today I couldn't handle it anymore, I felt like Squints in the movie 'Sandlot' when his hormones finally get the best of him and he tricks Wendy Peffercorn into kissing him, except this was a burger not a lifeguard, and I ate it, I didn't make out with it.

So what's the big deal? Its just a burger.  Until today I had done really well on my diet and exercising, a slipped up a few times but today after indulging in the barbecued goodness that is processed beef topped with fried everything and bacon, I felt like everything I had done until this point had been erased.  I know it hasn't, but it inspired me to make a list of things I won't be eating ever again, or as long as I don't eat them, whichever comes first:

1. Reese's Twister from Foster's Freeze:  It is so good, the perfect blend of peanut butter, chocolate, and vanilla ice cream sliding over your taste buds sends you into a sense of euphoria.  Maybe it's a food coma I am thinking of cause this little baby, the small, allots for half of your daily caloric intake, the small!  This is tough for me as I work literally 100 yards from Foster's, and I am pretty sure the don't have fro-yo and celery sticks as an alternative.

2.  Sal's Salsa- Technically this is a lie, I will eat Sal's salsa again, just not while I am in the restaurant, they trick you by putting the salsa next to the chips, before you know it you are on your fifth basket of corn tortilla chips and the waiter hasn't even taken your order yet.  Salsa = Good, as long as it is on toast with eggs whites, but they discontinued that at Sal's due to a low demand, something about not having enough lard in the ingredients.

3.  Soda- I love soda, it tastes good, it's refreshing, they have cool logos on their cans, but a smart man once said, "Don't drink soda." I am no idiot, I listen to smart people.

4.  Cheese- Growing up my teacher's always told me about cheese being in the dairy category of the food pyramid.  If it made the pyramid, you were to eat it.  I grew up eating cheese faster than cows could produce it, or the Hilmar cheese factory, one of the two.  It was the perfect snack for a lazy teen, easy to prepare, if there was only a bit left you didn't even have to slice it, you just got a block of cheese to eat while watching the Simpsons at 5:00 and 6:00 every night on Fox. Somewhere along the line someone informed my that cheese is not something that should be consumed in large quantities, unfortunately for me it is the only way I consume cheese so I must banish it, forever.

5.  Jelly Donuts-  You would think one would satisfy your desire to have sweets in the morning but you'd be wrong, I am pretty confident these are 95% air, therefore forcing you to eat at least 7 to be completely full (someone check my math, I switched to a Communications Major for a reason).

Thank you for letting me tell you what I won't be eating for until forever, it really helped me realize how much I miss the incredible taste of processed fat.  What is your go to food when you want your caloric fill in 15 minutes?  These have all at one point or another been mine, thank God it wasn't all in the same meal, I probably would have exploded from joy or sugar poisoning, is that a thing?