I Decided to Write Today

Jon Acuff, one of the funniest Christian writers I have ever come across, has a blog called Stuff Christians Like. I was reading through it one day and he wrote something that struck me,he said, "I decided to write." It was in response to someone asking him how to get a book published, and all he did was decide to write. It wasn't him being condescending or anything of the sort, it was him honestly saying that when he gets up he decides to write everyday.

It got me thinking about the spiritual side of things when he wrote this, it got me thinking about how so often we read countless books trying to figure out how to get closer to God, we sit in coffee shops trying to figure out how to make God more real in our lives, essentially we pursue the pursuit of God. It would be like asking your cat to find the dog for you, actually it would make more sense to ask the dog to find the cat because cats are snobs who don't care about peoples feelings unless they want to be fed or pet.

Regardless, rather than reading self help books trying to find out how to draw closer to God, why not just draw closer to Him? Why don't we wake up every morning and before we take a step out of bed decide that today we are going to walk closer with God than we did yesterday? The key to getting a book published is deciding to write, the key to walking closer to God is deciding to do it. We mung it up with rules and processes and disciplines, why not just drop whatever it is we are doing and follow Him?

The "Aha" Moment

Last night I had a conversation with a student of mine via text message, and before I proceed from here, I just want everyone to know that I refuse to use texting lingo or emoticons, no rofl's or winking smiley faces for this guy. Now that I have cleared my name from people lol-ing, I have realized that if you want to connect with teenagers, you have to do it on their terms a lot of times. Some of the most real moments that teens open up to me are when they have that "aha" moment. Its comes in that time when they are by themselves, they have some time to think about whats going on in their lives, when they have time to be honest with who they are. For a lot of them that is late at night.

I don't mind a text message at 11 at night, chances are I am watching Lost and about to pull my hair out because after last night I am convinced there is no way I am going to be happy with the explanation they are going to give us. Plus I am a night owl, my wife likes mornings, so she is sleeping, Cooper is sleeping, my dogs are sleeping (and consequently farting, I don't know why they pass gas so often in their sleep, what if I do and I don't know it?), so really a text at night isn't bad. Worse case scenario, I am asleep and I get back to them in the morning.

But I love that moment when everything clicks, and that happened last night for one of my students. It was a moment of optimism for the student, where they could see past circumstances that had surrounded them this past year. It was a moment where they said, "aha!" I actually doubt they said that, I don't think anyone says that unless they are on a bad cop show or on "The Suite Life with Zach and Cody." Even still, in all of our walks with God we have these moments where the funk we have been sitting in for so long suddenly melts away and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe it is a sin you have been battling, maybe a relationship you were stuck in, maybe you were just the product of a bad environment, whatever it may be, the aha moment comes when we have hope, when we cling to the eternal and let the temporal fade away.

Monday Morning with 70 Sweaty Jr Highers

Yesterday I rolled out of bed at 5:30, stubbed my toe on the way to the shower, and realized there was not enough milk in the fridge for my wife and I so I left it for her (I sacrificed myself by going to get 2 donuts rather than having Special K, it was tough but I got over it). Then I drove listening to KNBR 680, Giants Talk Radio until I pulled up to Immanuel to spend my day chaperoning a gaggle of Jr High students on their trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain.

I got on the bus and sat with the Youth Pastor from Dinuba Mennonite Brethren Church, his name was Lee (I guess his name still is Lee, but this was yesterday, so it was Lee and I assume it is today, but I haven't talked to him so it is hard to say.) We talked about the usual stuff, programs, baseball, family, God, the important things (and definitely not in that order). We got off the bus and we were in charge of 18 Jr High Boys for the next seven and a half hours. It was a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Someone told me once the using an exclamation point in your writing is like laughing at your own joke, and since I am hilarious I use multiple exclamation points!!!)
We had a lot of fun, we had a student ride his first roller coaster (Booya, my red-headed friend Carter!!!), someone (J. Zamudio, no thats too obvious, Jonathan Z.) spent 20 dollars trying to win a seven foot banana who had dreadlocks and sunglasses, and we went on every major roller coaster in the park.

I know most of you are thinking, that was nice of Peter to sacrifice his day off to go hang out with students for 16 hours, and to you I say, I didn't I will take Friday off. "What do you mean you will take Friday off? You played on Roller Coasters and tried to throw red rings over bottle caps to win prizes that don't fit through a standard sized door"

I know at times it seems weird that a work day for me is going to Six Flags, it may also seem weird that sometimes for work I walk around WalMart trying to figure out new ways to get our students totally messy. (I figured out how to shoot shaving cream through a squirt gun last year, I am being heavily recruited by Harbro Inc.) The fact of the matter is, I spent 16 hours doing ministry yesterday, actually 15 hours and 55 minutes, I had to go number 1. But I got to establish and reestablish relationships yesterday, I got to talk to 8th graders about moving up to High school, I go to figure out the things the love to do and the people they don't enjoy being around and why. I got to put my finger on the pulse of their world from sun up to sun down.

I was exhausted at the end of the day and it doesn't help that I am off caffeine and we stopped at a Starbucks on the way home, all the Junior Highers looked like 5 foot tall cups of Pikes Place Roast. I kissed my wife goodbye when she was in bed that morning and I kissed her when I came home while she was in bed (I am not entirely convinced she ever got up). I didn't get to see my son at all yesterday, and I didn't get to watch Chuck. I do it for the Lord, but I won't sacrifice my most important ministry, my family, that's why I won't be here on Friday, I won't answer phone calls or text messages, I won't email you. I will be hanging out, eating cheerios and watching Little Einsteins with the most handsome 13 month old in the world.

I love doing ministry, but I love my family more, and for you Jr. Highers who haven't stopped reading because you are bored reading about my family, I love you all and I will see you at Youth tomorrow night!!!

I gave up caffeine

You know that feeling when you wake up and you feel like someone has taken a hammer and hit you over the head about 5 times with it, then you get up and your entire back aches, then you stretch and you feel a huge knot on the right side of your neck? No? Well then you have obviously never quit drinking caffeine, or maybe you have tried to quit but you weren't as dependent on it as I was/am. This is only my second post this week because when I sat down to write the previous 3 days all I can think about was getting my hands on coffee, and when I remembered I had given up caffeine I just wrote a slew of incomprehensible babbling on my page. Needless to say, I am/was hooked.

It's not a fun feeling, realizing you don't have control over your own body, it's like opening the fridge at 10 at night and seeing pizza from dinner time, delicious cold pizza, you have to indulge. Or like going to KFC and seeing an advertisement for a double down, you have to get it. Is it horrible for you, absolutely, should you eat right before you go to bed and after you brush your teeth, no, does the double down have more cholesterol than eating a tub of mayonnaise with a spoon, of course it does. But we do it anyway, we eat it anyway, we drink it anyway. I haven't felt normal for 3 and a half days, I have been cranky and agitated, I actually punched a Jr. higher this week (not really, but my throbbing headache was telling me to.)
We are Americans, we enjoy indulging, and what I have noticed since I gave up caffeine, is I am eating more, it is like my body is swapping one vice for another rather than just saying no.
Proverbs 26:11, a verse that most men enjoy quoting, "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to his folly." We can't shake our sin a lot of times, and it gives us headaches and we wake up with knots in our backs and we get in fights with our spouses. It is hard to weed sin out of our lives because we love it so much, but in the end it is worth it to have control of our body, to render our lives as not so we can fully glorify God.
I understand how hard it is to remove sin, its like crabgrass in my flowerbeds, it won't go away unless we are diligent in getting rid of it. My crabgrass always comes back right when I think it is conquered and unfortunately my sin does too, but we are called to be diligent none-the-less.

Monday Morning with Coop

For the past two mornings I have walked into my son's room, turned on the light and immediately he looks at me and yells, "MAMA!" And it isn't that he thinks I am his mom, it's that he is mad that Dad came in to get him and not mom. It may have something to do with me forcing him to do push-ups and wind-sprints before I give him a diaper change, but I digress. He just happens to really love his mom, which I can't say I blame him.

The whole reason I get to hang out with Coop on Mondays is because Sarah is bringing home the bacon. She decided to go back and work a second year to make her credential permanent and to help support our family financially. She loves to teach her 1st graders, and she might be the best teacher I've ever met, but regardless, her heart is elsewhere. It's with "big man" at home teaching him to love Jesus, to play, to read, to walk. (I'm best at teaching him to dance. He bends his left arm at the elbow keeps his hand limp and twists his torso to the beat, just like his old man.)

Sarah is a champ with Coop, she work's full time, is almost 6 months pregnant, and to top it off, has to put up with me (Plus she likes watching Giants games, rather than forcing me to watch Oprah or another show that gives to a community and then ensures everyone knows how much they gave so they can make more money off a hurting community, yeah I have beef with Oprah, so what?) Regardless of Oprah, Sarah is a champ.

Thanks for making the perfect son, you are a great wife, and I love you. Happy early Mother's Day Bride.

Ministry

Tony Robinson once said, "Leadership is learning to disappoint people at a rate that they can handle." The more I am in a leadership role the more I understand this quote. And it isn't so much that I just disappoint people all day, which at times I do, but it is being able to steer ministry in the direction that I see fit after prayerful consideration on my parts and my supporting staffs part. Thats casting vision, thats what a leader does.

And it isn't so much that people are mad at me when I have to disappoint them, it is that I feel like it is harder on me. I am not a fan of people being upset, I am not a fan of being in trouble (ask my mom, I cried when the dog got punished, much less when I did), and I am not a fan of letting people down. If I could I would make it so everyone could do and say exactly what they felt, however, that doesn't mesh with the direction of our ministry.

I once had a man approach me about teaching our High School girls about the importance of not having sex until they were married. I agreed with him that this was an important topic, which is why I have Amanda Silva (Our High School Girls volunteer) teach a bible study based solely on abstinence over the course of the entire summer. I didn't agree with the way in which he wanted to do it, he wanted me to teach from a non-biblical perspective using Tiger Woods as our model of what men are to women outside of wedlock, or in his case inside of wedlock.

First of all, as a Pastor I never want to teach something in the church that is not biblical. That is what I am hired to do, Make God look good and Christ well known to the next generation of students. Secondly, just because there is a pop-culture reference staring us in the face doesn't mean we have to jump on the band wagon and use it is an object lesson. Regardless, I told the man that we had planned to teach a series based on abstinence to our girls (and our guys) but I appreciated his input. He wasn't happy that I turned down his idea, but it didn't fit into what our ministry was trying to accomplish at the time.

Ministry is tough, it's about hard conversations, it's about letting people down, it's about failing but moving forward, it's about encouraging people regularly but regardless of your work they remain stagnant. But we are called to minister to others, we are called to spread the word of God using the gifts and talents he has given us, how cool is that?! I know I am kind of rambling but these were some musing that were on my heart today. As my buddy Ryan would say, Peace and Grace.

Monday Morning with Coop

So yesterday during Coopers nap he pooped, which is fine, babies do that. The bad thing about it was once my child woke up from his nap, he some how finagled out of his diaper, like Harry Houdini from a straight jacket, or me from attending a Miley Cyrus movie. It was amazing, it was smooth, it didn't look like there was any complications. It looked as if he had been doing it for years. He was naked when I walked in, and in "hind sight" (yes that was an intentional pun) it was much easier to clean him up, granted i had to wipe his feet too because he may or may not have been standing in it, but easier none-the-less.

It was actually kind of nice having to go through that, odd I know, but that is one of those stories that you hear Dads recount time and time again, it may be a story a share with his girlfriend later on in life, maybe it will be one that I share with him when his son does the same thing. I don't know, what I do know is that Sarah and I starting to look at big kid beds for our baby boy since he is going to be kicked out of the nursery soon because we will be having a new tenant. But it is crazy to think that I can now begin to reminisce about Cooper when he was a baby. Think about how bad of a sleeper he was, how great of an eater he was (which is why he was a bad sleeper, he was always hungry) how he refused to eat rice cereal for the first month we tried it unless the "Little Einsteins" theme music was on.
Now he is walking, talking, playing drums (he doesn't know if he wants to pursue it as a career or not yet, just as a hobby right now), even weight lifting. People always tell Sarah and I how quickly they grow up, and I know they do, but I just got Cooper figured out, and it seems like every time that happens, he has to go and learn something.

I know freezing time isn't an option so I guess settling for making the most of the stages of life he goes through will have to be sufficient.

Gossip in Disguise

I was at bible study this morning with J, C, and JC (Thats how I introduce my friends, Jordan, Caleb and Jesus Christ) and I know it was a really manly study because the topic of gossip came up. I was thinking though how often we gossip and disguise it as something different, something more socially acceptable, so I came up with a list of ways we gossip to make it seem acceptable to those who want to hear whats going on but love Jesus too much to do so.

5. Prayer Request Gossip. This occurs in small groups or bible studies, usually when half the group is missing due to sleep deprivation from Prom or late night activity that all were a part of the night before. The leader asks for prayer requests and without warning a verbal tornado of hearsay is thrown towards him like the plot of Sex and the City learned how to throw a 99 mph fastball. Do they need prayer for the way they danced last night? Maybe, is it your place to share that? Yes, as long as you are concerned enough for them to share it with God, and the other 4 people in the room.

4. Workplace Gossip. Excuse me, secretary, we need more coffee because Paul drank it all due to the fact that he was up all night gambling at an Indian Casino where he lost his entire life savings playing three card poker with his friend from college and a bald man with a handlebar mustache that attached to his chest hair. Just 1 sugar is fine.

3. Twitter/Facebook. since pictures are worth a thousand words, you don't have to tell anyone about who you saw Andrew kissing. 140 Count 'em.

2. Starbucks Gossip. Most of these are for guys and girls but this one I have seen far too many times as I frequent the corporate monster regularly. 2-8 Ladies gathered, circled, like a pack of ravenous lionesses waiting to pounce on the poor helpless topic of conversation that is about to be thrown into the ring. Sometimes all it takes is a name, followed by an inhaled gasp, some lowly chatter, a head shake, then a head nod, and finally the cackle laugh that is heard after the jugular was punctured. They will even take down their own kind, need to miss your weekly gathering to pick up your kid from dance class? Maybe even be at handbell rehearsal? A funeral? Your funeral? Doesn't matter, they pounce and move on, like a 10 year old on a pogo stick.

1. Venting. This is my game, I know how it's played. You start by saying this, I love this person to death, but... This makes it okay, as long as you love the person you are talking about then it doesn't mater what horrible thing you say about them because you love them. This is the same as saying no offense, but... it is immediately followed by something that is incredibly offensive. This type of gossip is reserved for close friends and family, only those that you love enough to care about and because you care you need to tell someone how much they drive you insane because of their tiny idiosyncrasies that no one notices but you.

What about you? Have you ever been caught in one of these gossip traps? Have you ever been gossiped about through one of these avenues?

Covenant

So in this season of ministry, Spring, I have a tough turnaround from Wednesday to Thursday. Wednesday is usually my longest day of the week, I get to work around 8:30-8:45 and don't get home for the day until around 9 at night. Its doable, I am not exhausted, I usually have enough energy to turn on the American Idol results show and internally mock Simon's v-neck, switch over to SportsCenter to mourn the passing of the Giants talent, and grab a delightful cheddar cheese snack before I turn in for the night.

I wake up about 6 hours later to the two separate alarms I set reminding me that I have students coming to my house in 15 minutes. I need coffee and a bathroom stop or else (1.)I will fall asleep in the middle of my lesson, or (2.)no one will want to sit by me because of the gurgling of my bowels. But enough about bowel gurgling... okay there is no easy segue out of this topic so lets just stop.

My Covenant group students show up at 6:10 and leave at 7:20. They committed to this in-depth bible study in February and are now 2 weeks away from completion and I am ecstatic about these students and their hearts for the Lord.

The weird thing is, going on 6 hours of sleep after my longest work day of the week I tend to be most productive on Thursdays. I have decided it is because I get energized by my core group of students who want to wake up early to experience God in a real way. These are kids who are interested in being transformed by the gospel, they aren't interested in mere knowledge of Christ, they want to experience the life altering ability that accepting Christ has.

It might also have something to do with the amount of coffee I drink in the morning, but I am going to go with the former, because it's a cool thing when you see students rising up to take their place.

(P.S. The Picture is our Covenant Group's Logo, in case you were wondering, or it's Tim Lincecum with a rotary style telephone in his back pocket. Which ever you prefer.)

Competing like the Greeks

Every year I go to a small gathering of men and compete like the original Olympians did (except we have clothes on). We call it Manlympics. Now we aren't going to be competing until later this Fall, but they were on my heart today and so I thought I would give you a glimpse into the amazing men i get to spend 3 days with a year.

Often times fights break out, usually caused by me because soccer shouldn't be included in the competition because it's a game for sissies, plus Matt and I never win. The teams are broken up like so:
Caleb and Lane: The Romans (They are known for their skeet shooting ability as well as being men in general. Regarded as the strongest, physically, of all the teams. They are the champions 2 years running).

Jordan and Ryan: The Huns (Regarded for being the most Patriotic and fastest. They excel in soccer and games of chance. Always regarded as the dark horse of the Manlympics, at least in my eyes. They have come in 2nd place two years running.)

Matt and Peter: The Anglo Saxons (I feel like we are never the front runners for any of the competitions but we are never favored to lose either. Nope, I take that back, we are undefeated in basketball thanks to Matt's time in the hood and my gurth under the basket. We have come in last place every year thus far.)

Also, to prevent a fight from breaking out amongst them concerning who I love the most I am going to go in alphabetical order. The really want me to love them the most, I think I know how Jesus felt when the disciples were arguing over the same thing. Is that blasphemy?

So First off is Caleb. This picture is fitting for him because he tends to be the quarterback of the group. Nothing happens unless Caleb touches the ball first. He tends to be the one who starts the big play and runs like Brett Favre to the end zone to be the first to congratulate you when you finish like a champ. Caleb has been instrumental in helping me see where I miss the mark as a husband to Sarah and where I succeed. I am a better husband because of Caleb's encouragement and insight.


So this is Jordan, he gets the award for longevity in my friendships. Jordan tends to be the peace maker of the group. Which is funny considering he is the one who tends to stir the pot initially. He is the guy who can sell anything to anyone, there are many a times when I have argued with him until he convinced me I agreed with him even when we were on opposite ends of the spectrum. He is responsible for keeping my faith in God hot, times when I wanted to quit, when I was going through the motions he called me back. He is one of the most humble encouragers I know.

Next is Lane, now many of you are thinking right now, wait who is Lane, why haven't you told more stories about him? Lane is a brother of mine for two main reasons, 1. He loves the Lord, 2. He is genuine in everything he does. Because of these two things when Lane and I get the opportunity to talk or hang-out it is a blessed time. This isn't the only picture I have of Lane, but it describes him best because he tends to be a set-up man. He is the guy who helps set-up, clean-up, and is always willing to encourage and laugh. He never has a hidden agenda and is always upfront with criticism and nothing matters more than relationships. He has taught me to make sure that God comes first, people come second, and everything else comes last.

Now I was Matt's best man in his wedding even though He wasn't even one of my ten groomsmen, nope that wasn't a typo, I had ten groomsmen. Matt and I became friends after Sarah and I got married, and it was a long distance relationship where we talked on the phone daily. No, not Sarah and I, Matt and I. Matt is a kindred spirit to me. We tend to see everything eye to eye, and when Matt, his wife Leah, Sarah and I get totgether it tends to be a breath of fresh air. A chance to connect with people who view life as we do, who value what we do, and love the Lord unashemedly. Matt has taught me empathy for those less fortunate and what it means to be passionate for the Lord.

Last is Ryan. I have come to cherish Ryan's relationship with me. This is a man who hungers for scripture and will never stop short of living epically. His first concern is how to love God more and show others how to do the same. Mine and Ryan's relationship has changed in the last year because he became a youth pastor as well, because of this we are a greater encouragement to each other. We know where each other are, we share the frustrations of ministry together, we share the successes of ministry together. Ryan has taught me to hunger for scripture and how important it is to get in my time with the Lord everyday.

These are men that have blessed me in my life, some for a very long time, others our journey together is just beginning, but if it weren't for these five guys I would be deficient in my walk with Christ, in my relationship with my wife, as a father to my son, and as a Pastor to my students. For that, I say, "Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah."