Gossip in Disguise

I was at bible study this morning with J, C, and JC (Thats how I introduce my friends, Jordan, Caleb and Jesus Christ) and I know it was a really manly study because the topic of gossip came up. I was thinking though how often we gossip and disguise it as something different, something more socially acceptable, so I came up with a list of ways we gossip to make it seem acceptable to those who want to hear whats going on but love Jesus too much to do so.

5. Prayer Request Gossip. This occurs in small groups or bible studies, usually when half the group is missing due to sleep deprivation from Prom or late night activity that all were a part of the night before. The leader asks for prayer requests and without warning a verbal tornado of hearsay is thrown towards him like the plot of Sex and the City learned how to throw a 99 mph fastball. Do they need prayer for the way they danced last night? Maybe, is it your place to share that? Yes, as long as you are concerned enough for them to share it with God, and the other 4 people in the room.

4. Workplace Gossip. Excuse me, secretary, we need more coffee because Paul drank it all due to the fact that he was up all night gambling at an Indian Casino where he lost his entire life savings playing three card poker with his friend from college and a bald man with a handlebar mustache that attached to his chest hair. Just 1 sugar is fine.

3. Twitter/Facebook. since pictures are worth a thousand words, you don't have to tell anyone about who you saw Andrew kissing. 140 Count 'em.

2. Starbucks Gossip. Most of these are for guys and girls but this one I have seen far too many times as I frequent the corporate monster regularly. 2-8 Ladies gathered, circled, like a pack of ravenous lionesses waiting to pounce on the poor helpless topic of conversation that is about to be thrown into the ring. Sometimes all it takes is a name, followed by an inhaled gasp, some lowly chatter, a head shake, then a head nod, and finally the cackle laugh that is heard after the jugular was punctured. They will even take down their own kind, need to miss your weekly gathering to pick up your kid from dance class? Maybe even be at handbell rehearsal? A funeral? Your funeral? Doesn't matter, they pounce and move on, like a 10 year old on a pogo stick.

1. Venting. This is my game, I know how it's played. You start by saying this, I love this person to death, but... This makes it okay, as long as you love the person you are talking about then it doesn't mater what horrible thing you say about them because you love them. This is the same as saying no offense, but... it is immediately followed by something that is incredibly offensive. This type of gossip is reserved for close friends and family, only those that you love enough to care about and because you care you need to tell someone how much they drive you insane because of their tiny idiosyncrasies that no one notices but you.

What about you? Have you ever been caught in one of these gossip traps? Have you ever been gossiped about through one of these avenues?