Clay Pigeons and Resolutions

I hate New Year's resolutions, not because I don't believe they are a great thing, but because I don't want to do something the rest of the world is doing at the exact same time, unless of course that is being involved in the rapture or watching the Giants win their second consecutive World Series.

I know I have things I want to change about myself, lots of them.  Do I want to lose the 10 extra pounds I carry around but no one can see? Yup.

Do I want to follow God more closely? Always.

Do I want to become a better writer? Sure.

Can my husbandry duties and fatherly requirements get a tune up? Of course.

That being said, I don't want to make any resolutions because resolutions are destined to fail harder than Chris Gaines Rock and Roll career, don't know who Chris Gaines is, check wikipedia, it's worth it.

I am not saying if you make a resolution you are going to fail, I know people who are phenomenal at keeping their resolutions people who have lost they weight they have carried around, people who have learned a new instrument or read an incredible book, I am saying making a resolution is like shooting a shotgun with on eye closed.

The other day I went to my buddy's ranch to shoot some clay pigeons and talk before his wife had their baby.  I knew it was going to be th elast time seeing him before the birth of their beautiful baby girl (Caroline May).  As we were shooting he told me to stop closing one of my eyes while shooting the shotgun.  At first I mocked him because everyone who has every watched a western knows if you are shooting a gun you either: a) wear an eye patch (I can't wait to fall in love with you 'True Grit') or b) close your left eye.

He then reminded me that I shoot a gun twice a year and he knows what he is talking about and to listen to him.  So I did, and after I opened both eyes my shooting percentage went way up.  It wasn't that I couldn't see what I was shooting, I just couldn't see it as well and that is the flaw with a resolution, you can see it, just not as well as you should.

This year instead of resolutions I am going to make measurable goals.  Things that I can check my progress on with both eyes, things I can check off a list to keep myself accountable.  I want to have a clay pigeon in my cross-hairs and turn it into dust not miss it completely.

What are you goals for 2011? Don't like goals, thats cool, what about your resolution(s)?

Game Nights

I love to play any type of game, that is just the way my brain works, I think I may have missed my calling as being FAO Schwartz, except I hate the giant piano in the movie "Big" you think it is cool until you try to play it and you sound like every other person who isn't musically inclined or just has short legs.



I love situational games like baseball, I love thinking about what should be done because rarely is a situation the same.  The challenge that being in a new situation after every move is exciting to me.  My love of strategic games started innocently when my Youth Pastor introduced me to Risk.  3 hours later I was wiped off the face of the earth and hooked.  That following summer my dad was worried about me and my friends because we were staying up too late playing Risk.  In hindsight, I don't think he had too much to worry about, I actually just think my friends Jordan, Caleb, Brandon and Schroeder were all incredibly loud even after their people groups had died off.  At one point we recorded an entire game of risk from beginning to end, it may be the single most boring thing that has ever been recorded.

But games are incredible and I have found more and more that there is a type of game that I put higher on a pedestal than any other, they are games of strategy.  Now one would instinctively think that my favorite game has to be Stratego because it's very name is arrived from the word strategy, however, that person would be wrong, Stratego requires as much strategy as Candy Land in comparison to the my favorite game of all time, THE SETTLERS OF CATAN (That is my booming movie preview announcer voice).

You may think that sounds lame, or what is a Catan?  But to you I say stop pondering such silly things and start pondering where you are going to find a Catan board and who you are going to play with.

Games bring a sense challenge, you get the opportunity to be a commander in charge of huge armies or a developer in charge of developing cities.  You get to go head to head with other people to see where you stack up or in the case of Quelf you just get to have fun and don't worry about who wins.

Christmas season and New Years is the time for staying up late and playing board games with friends, whether it be old school like Trivial Pursuit or Pictionary or too new and quirky like Quelf, open the closet, grab a board game and some friends and enjoy a game without the distraction of TV hindering you.

Whats your favorite board game?  Leave a comment and let me know.

TRUE Grit

Before you read this post watch this trailer for True Grit, I haven't seen it yet but if you haven't heard of the movie, you'll understand this post better if you see the preview.



Sarah and I used to go to the movies all the time, it was kind of our default date before we were married or had kids.  It was fun and it was easy, it gave us a chance to put our brains on pause for a bit and just be entertained which I am a huge fan of.  Needless to say if Sarah and I get a night free from the boys we don't sit next to each other and not talk for 2 hours while Freddie Prinze Jr. kicks a hacky sack around on a stage while making an obvious metaphor about his life.  We go grab coffee and talk about life, it is strange having a full conversation with my wife without being interrupted by a young child talking, pooping, crying or climbing onto something he shouldn't be climbing.

Last night I had the opportunity to go to the movies with my brothers-in-law and another friend and I was psyched up and ready to go.  Sarah said yes but as i was getting ready to go things were not going as smoothly as had hoped, actually it was as smooth as ice-skating on gravel.  Babies were melting down, messes were being made, wives were getting sick, overall it wasn't the scene I wanted to leave behind as I left to watch James Brolin, Jeff Bridges, and Matt Damon be super cool by wearing tattered leather coats and shooting stuff.

So as I was walking out the door I prayed and said, "God, if I should stay at home tonight make Micah meltdown before I get into the car." 5 seconds later Micah went into one of his screaming rampages and rather than get in the car to watch Gritty Gritty Bang Bang (street name) I grabbed my tools and came back inside to get some honey-dos done.

Needless to say this small act of love went a long way with Sarah.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not some incredible husband who does things right all the time, that's not even close to the truth, this was more of a testament to God taking care of me and all I did was be obedient to Him.  I am not a good prayer, I am a reader and a thinker and because of that my ability to try and pray like a champ gets hindered.  But last night I truly felt God say hey pray about this for a second, so I did, and God delivered.

Do I want to see True Grit? Uhh am I a dude that has a pulse? The answer to both of those questions is yes.  Did I pass up a once in a lifetime opportunity to watch Jeff Bridges drunkenly stumble around while riding a horse with Matt Damon?  Probably not, the Academy Awards are coming up.  Did I decide to stay with my bride rather than go to an EPIC western?  Yup, and I won't regret it, ever, because that's how we show love, we put others concerns over our own, others desires over our own.

True Grit, I love you, but I love my wife more.

26thmas

The day after Christmas was always a lot of fun for us when we were kids.  The excitement had worn off from the day before and we had settled back in and slept of the sugar rush that the food in our stockings had produced.  We were back at home and free to roam around the neighborhood with the 7 other boys our age that lived there.

I call it 26thmas (which is the Christmas Hobbit equivalent of Second Breakfast or Elevensies) because on December 26th we went to all of our neighbors houses and saw what they got for Christmas and played with their toys since we were already bored of ours.  The best 26thmas was when our neighbors got a backyard trampoline and we jumped for hours, it was magical.

The biggest thing that the 26thmas Holiday brought to us was the confirmation that (Santa Spoiler ahead) Santa did not in fact exist and our Moms were in fact the fat bearded man who delivered presents on the night before.  We figured it out by simply getting the cards that Santa had left for us and comparing hand-writing.

Our first thought was to protect Santa saying things like, "He must carry different pens and disguise his hand-writing," or, "He must have his elves prewrite all of the cards and deliver them with our awesome presents."  We may have said this mostly out of terror that if we stopped believing Santa would forever black ball us to the naughty list but the hammer came down when we compared our mom's hand-writing to Santa's and it was an exact match.  We could have continued to fight it, but alas we gave in and Santa was no longer something to believe in.

When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?  Was it devastating or did you already have a hunch?  or tell me about your 26thmas.

Merry Christmas Eve from Micah

Micah thought it was time for him to be happy just in time for Christmas. If this doesn't put you full of Christmas cheer you may be dead inside.

- Peter

It's a Two Christmas Tree Christmas

Around here we measure the success of a Christmas not in the amount of lights we can hang or in the amount of presents we can give away, we don't even give a Christmas industry standard of elves on a shelf.  No, in the Anderson home we rate Christmas with the number of trees we put up in a year.

I am a firm believer in being a man and come Christmas that means putting on your boots and your flannel shirt and driving to the nearest KMart parking lot to pick out a "fresh" tree.  This is the first year I didn't have a truck so instead of tying it to the roof, I  lowered the seat and threw it in the back of our HHR, it smelled like I opened 30 air fresheners that also had real pine needles that are definitely still taunting me in the back of our car.  Regardless, this was on November 27.

Do we get excited about Christmas?  Yes, we do.  Did we get so excited that we bought our real tree too early and we had to throw it out 3 days ago because it had a better chance of catching fire than it did at spreading holiday cheer? Yes, we did.

So there I stood, at the entry way of Target, many people pushing past me trying to get their shopping done, I was trying to come to terms with doing what I was about to do, buying a fake tree.

I am a purist, I hate fake trees, they are so fake, and fake.  But after wasting 40 dollars on a real tree that was nothing more than a giant piece of kindling, I decided it was time.  I made my way to the back of Target where all the fake trees stood proudly boasting their green needles, prelit amazingness, and 50 percent off signs.  I took the plunge.

So now in our house we are fake tree people.  I never thought it to be so but alas it is true, rather than fresh pine scent coming from our den, we have the Christmas tree equivalent of a Barbie doll standing proud and true, green and beautiful in our corner.

If the amount of Chrismas trees we have gone through this year is any indication of of what Santa is going o bring me, I think I am going to make out like a bandit.  (Or at least get 2 pars of socks.)

Cooper Comic Genius

- Peter

It's a Pooptastrophe

This blog post will have no pictures for reasons that you can figure out on your own, but I will say this, "I touched more poop this morning that doesn't belong to me than any civilized human being should touch... ever."

I uttered those words as I walked out of my house this morning and then realized that any poop whether yours our your children's shouldn't be touched on a regular basis.  I have heard some pretty bad poop stories since I became a parent, as a matter of fact Sarah and I have at least three conversations about poop every day.  It's like when you become a parent you substitute the normal things people talk about like politics and religion for poop and vomit.

The Coop was up around 8 this morning like normal but we give him a little bit of time in his crib before we go get him so he can wake up and get used to having a little bit of down time before the whirlwind of the days starts.  But this day wasn't like other days, when Sarah walked in to get Cooper out of bed she immediately knew something was wrong when she tried to lift him out of bed but he was dried to the sheets, he is actually still sitting there.

Not really, but there was poop everywhere, on his stuffed animals, on the sheets, his clothes, his body and pretty soon on everyone that came withing a 5 block radius of his crib, it was like someone was sniping people with a Coop Poop gun and not even Jack Bauer could escape it.  It was gnarly, and gross, and mom and dad got to clean it up.

Parenting is hard a lot of times, but you know what you do when things are hard?  You do them.  I didn't know how we were going to handle having a newborn and an 18 month old at the same time, but we just did it, we are continuing to do it.  Are there days that you want to put everyone to bed at seven o'clock make a fire and watch a chick flick, yeah, there are, and yes I am a dude.

But you get through those days, those hours, those minutes where you feel like the whole world is about to squish you like a ten year old version of myself with the mosquitoes I caught playing 3rd base in Atwater Little League (Shout out to Von Gooden DDS, 2 tome league champs 12 and under division).  And you move onto the minutes where your son says, "Hi Daddy" when he runs over to give you a hug even though you have been playing with him for the last hour.

Parenting is tough, but you do it, you get through it, and you see the blessings those little pooping children of yours bring.  Any good poop stories?  Let's hear 'em!

Sappy Sweet Love Heart

My wife is smokin' hott (like Jon Acuff, author of stuffchristianslike.net, has said, as a Christian who is a dude who married up, you have to spell hott with 2 t's, it emphasizes the hotness your wife possesses).  And since my wife possesses an incredible amount of hotness, she is a two t wife, hands down.  But my wife, her name is Sarah, is not just a super hotty, she is also really smartt.  And not smart like I am going to  only type in binary code because it's the purest form of communication smart, but smartt like we are on a single income and I am going to make sure we don't go into debt smartt.

After we had the boy (Coop) and now the kid (Micah) Sarah's heart was to be at home with our children, our crazy crazy crazy children.  I love the fact that we are able to let Sarah stay home while I continue to puff my chest out and be the bread winner for our family.  I am also incredibly thankful that our church pays me enough to be on one income.  The thing I am most grateful for though is how my wife has put on her green accountant visor, taken out her ten key and figured out how to keep us afloat until Sarah starts getting paid for being an awesome mom (If anyone has heard of any mom sponsorships let us know, we aren't opposed to tattooing logos or wearing the same corporate polo shirt everyday).

In a time of life that can only be described as nutzo bonkers, Sarah has managed to help us keep the wheels on the cart.  Telling me when I am allowed to spend and when I have to tighten up.  Telling me when it can be a Starbucks day  and when home brewed is the drip of the day (ironically enough it's a Starbucks day when she is in the mood for caramel deliciousness), she is responsible for our financial responsibility.

I married someone who balances me perfectly.  I am not the best at managing money, but she has taken the job on and because of her we are going to make it.  She picks up my slack when I drop the ball, what slack and a ball have in common I am not sure, what I am trying to say is she helps me.  We are in this together and with my ability to open the pickle jar and her ability to do everything else we make a pretty good team.

How does your spouse balance you?  Don't have a spouse, thats cool, what ways do you need to be balanced?

Tuesday Means Micah

As Sarah and I were doing some Christmas shopping on Saturday Morning, two things occurred to me, the first things is how much easier shopping is when you are alone, and by alone I mean when you don't have to push the Cadillac of double strollers around.

The second thing that occurred to me is that our precious almost 4 month old son is getting thick.  I don't know if it makes me a bad dad that I realized he was packing on the weight when I saw a baby Santa outfit and thought how amazing Micah would look in it, but if it does, I am a bad dad.  I am ecstatic at this weight gain though, and not because he can fit into Cooper's clothes faster, but because this is about the same time Coop got some extra meat on his thighs.

This weight is a great thing because it signifies Micah turning into a person, not just a crying pooping lump.  He is getting a personality, he can hold his head up without whiplashing his cranium into the floor after 2 seconds, and he will start eating baby cereal soon (thats cereal for babies, not cereal made out of babies.  That being said Micah is so legit he eats other babies for breakfast!)

Up until this point in Micah Man's life the role of Dad is kind of diminished, not because I don't want to hang with my son, throw him around, and offer really sound sage-like advice to him but because mom is the nurturer, the feeder, the bather.  Mom gets to do those things because God literally built her for that role (granted the bather is a stretch but since I am not a huge fan of bath time Sarah gets that responsibility).  Now that the scale is moving in an upward direction for our youngest son it signifies a time when Dad gets to burst onto the scene and show Micah how awesome he is and by awesome I mean how long I can make a fart noise on his stomach without stopping to breathe.

Moms are awesome but Dad has a different role than she does, just ask Coop after he hits his head, the first words out of his mouth aren't, "Daddy, ouch."  They are, "Mama, ouch." Or when it is time for Cooper to fly like Peter Pan, he doesn't run to Mom and say, "Fly! Fly!" it is Dad that gets that responsibility.

What roles did your parents play in your life whether it be growing up or now?  How were they the same, how were they different?

Monday Morning with Coop

When Bing Crosby sang "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" he was probably in the Central Valley, because a dream is as close as we get to having anything white on the ground during the Winter Season. So it being December I wanted to do something fun for my son and niece, Juniper, who Sarah watches on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Now if I had my way we would be behind massive snow forts making snowballs and hitting each other in the face with those snowballs until someone started to cry. But there is still no snow, however, I think if I wait long enough there will be enough to build a little snowman, like the size snowman a plastic GI Joe would build if they were alive, and they made snowmen rather than fighting team Cobra.

So instead of whizzing snowballs at my 20 month old son and 2 and a half year old niece I raked leaves so they could play, and once they got used to the other stuff that was in the sidewalk gutter they loved it. (Not really, they played on the grass but still, it would have saved me some time if it were socially acceptable to let your kids play with leaves soaked in dirty gutter water.) Long story short, here are some pictures I snapped.

I left out the pictures of me jumping in the leaves with them because they were having so much fun I wanted to get in on the action.  I want to be able to create special moments like this one on a regular basis.  As a Dad it isn't my job to sit idly by and let mom plan all the activities as Monday Night Football is on TV.  Creating adventures for our kids is huge in them developing into self-assured, confident, independent people.

The adventures don't have to be rake the leaves and have a sitcom afternoon throwing leaves and galavanting in the midst of all the fall colors.  It could be simple like when I was little we used to decorate sugar cookies with my parents, their friends, and all of their kids, it was a blast decorating cookies shaped like stockings with neon blue and yellow frosting.  Did most of the cookies end up getting thrown away because they were too sweet?  Yup, but it was an adventure in itself that my parents wanted us to do because it was fun and special and out of the ordinary, it was an adventure.

What things have you done this season to make it special for your kids?  What things do you plan on doing?  Don't have kids? What adventures are you going to partake in?

Irked is a Funny Word

My chair is broken. And not broken like it needs to repent of it's sins because it feels terrible about the way it treated my desk last week, broken like every time I lean back the hydraulics give out and I slowly lose a solid 10 inches of height at my desk. This may be my bosses way of making sure I don't get too comfortable and lean back while I am supposed to be anxiously pouring over my work, but I think he has better things to do. Things like work on getting approval from the board to get us all iPads and Segways for Christmas (this is totally going to happen* and the best part is that it's all coming straight out of the Children's ministry budget).

*This will never happen, not in a thousand years, even when iPads are featured on VH1's Remember the 2010's and the thought of someone still owning one is considered "retro".

There are a few things in this world that really irk me, things that when they happen I clinch my molars in disgust or passive aggressively make a sarcastic comment at. I began to notice my irkiness at certain things one day when my then roommate would come into my truck and place his things on my dashboard. No big deal, just things on a dash, until I touch the gas pedal at all and they go flying everywhere, particularly in my face and then we get in an accident because he was being all willy nilly with the placement of his things. Regardless, I noticed I had issues, here are some things I have issues with.

1. 15 items or less means just that, unless there is no other line open

Look really mean elderly woman, I don't want to be in this line any more than you do, but there is no other line open right now and my frozen waffles are getting soggy, so if you don't mind I was in front of you and your "sprouts".

2. Biting Ice

I don't bite ice, I would never do such a thing therefore it is out of the realm of possibility, but hearing other people do this is the worst thing anyone could ever do to me. It should be no surprise that I love listening my wife, but she loves chewing on ice and frankly it is the only time I get to cover my ears and say "la la la la la" as loud as I possibly can. One ice chewer in the family no big deal, but now our son is ice chewing as well and if you go to her family's house to have a refreshing beverage you might as well be listening to a man carving an ice sculpture, of people chewing ice.

3. Ambiguity

4. Family Sidewalkers

I get it, you are really cute in your matching turtlenecks, you haven't seen each other in a long time and now you are Christmas shopping for those less fortunate, that is awesome. I love helping the needy and turtlenecks as much as the next guy but just don't line up four wide when you are walking on the sidewalk. Some of us who are way more impatient and thrive on moving quickly need to pass you and save the 15 seconds of our lives you would have wasted.

I know we are supposed to be all happy and jolly this time of year but seriously, we are all friends, what are some things that irk you?

College Life is Hard

When I was in college life was really hard, I mean really hard. I had to stay up until 3 am with my roommates and then drag myself out of bed by the crack of noon to go to 2 classes that were each 50 minutes long. After that the decision was really difficult as to whether I was going to go home and take a nap or get some coffee and read at Uncle Harry's (It's a bagel place, I don't have an Uncle Harry. (Also, having the name "Harry" in any food establishment's name is a mistake)).

When I woke up from my nap, because whether I went to read or went home to take a nap I still ended up sleeping somewhere, I had to play my super competitive roommate in Mario Baseball on Gamecube because I had a bet to see who can be the other guy 50 times first. My idea of shopping is finding my roommates leftovers in the back of the fridge and pretending like I didn't see his name on the box in bright red permanent marker. I did some homework and that was the extent of college, other than the 1 week per semester you were super stressed out and had no time to do anything because you waited until the last minute to do all of your papers.

Okay, I was being sarcastic, college wasn't that hard, just sue me why don't you (that was also sarcasm, plus, if you sue me I will make sure you get my dogs in the settlement, and my dogs dig.) The truth of the matter is I never understood why my parents ever got upset when I wouldn't do my homework one night or when I had a grade come back that was below my ability and their standards. I know now, it is because life when you are younger isn't super difficult, responsibility is limited, and sleep is always available. I say this because with each piece of life change that Sarah and I have had life gets a bit harder and we are forced to grow up a little bit more.

The good news is that as we continue to mature and take responsibility for what God has blessed us with life becomes more and more fun. We become "responsible" adults, we finally start to feel like grown ups (Even though any time I am visiting students on campus someone still thinks I am a High Schooler). I loved being able to sleep in until whenever I wanted when I was 20, but life is a lot more fulfilling waking up at six to get my run on to the Black Eyed Peas before the sun comes up.

What things do you miss from college (If you say record players or big hair you are dating yourself)? What things are you glad you no longer have to do now that you are a responsible adult?

Traditioooooon. Tradition.

I love Christmas. I have always loved Christmas and so far this year I love Christmas just as much as I have loved Christmas in the years past (you can tell by the amount of times I have used the word Christmas. Christmas!).

Like most families mine has a lot of traditions that are associated with this time of year, Christmas eve in particular. We go to church, we go to a Chinese restaurant (kind of like A Christmas Story except without the mispronunciation of la la la la la), and we all get matching pajamas. It is a good thing. Sarah and I have started talking about what traditions we should have every year and so far this is what we have.

1. Get a tree
2. Decorate the tree
3. Be with family
4. Unwrap gifts

We want Christmas to be a special time full of wonder and excitement but we also want the meaning of Christmas to resonate louder than the commercial side of the holiday. We want spiritual depth much like the makers of "Tickle Me Elmo" did in 1996 or Matchbox and "Stinky the Garbage Truck" do this year.

I have kicked the idea around of writing from the different viewpoints of those who were at the manger but when thinking from the point of view of a donkey, Eeyore's voice wouldn't get out of my head.

What are some fun and deepening traditions you have with your family every year? What things are you excited to try this year?